Tag: reflection

Reflection: Good Friday Birthday

by billy, posted in Reflection

It’s been quite a while since I have written a blog post of any sort, and it has not been for what I would say was a lack of content. Sometimes in the midst of living out the stories of our lives, we either just don’t make the time for adequate reflection, or that reflection does not get transcribed from thoughts in the mind into the written word. For me, the reflection has been happening, but the transcription has not…

That being said, I felt like the fact that Good Friday and my birthday fell on the same day this year offered an interesting opportunity not only for reflection but for putting those reflections down in written word. I actually did a quick Google search, and this is the first time it has happened since 1956 (I wasn’t around for that occasion, but my parents were). It was just ten years ago on Good Friday that I met up with my friends Jake, John, and Wes to talk about the launch of Nuru, to reflect on the crucifixion, and on a lighter note, to prepare to watch WVU beat Duke in the NCAA tournament! Taking time to pause on Good Friday has been a longstanding tradition for me, but combining it with my birthday added to the uniqueness of it this year.

This year I celebrated my “Jerry West” birthday (44 for years of life)! Interestingly, there are 45 days inclusive from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday, so I’m taking that is a reminder to be mindful of the future as I rest in the present. Of course, as part of my birthday tradition, I dropped to the ground to perform my age in push-ups, plus one for the year ahead as well. There are routines like this that I hope to continue throughout my annual rhythms, and new ones that I hope to cultivate as well; one of them emerged on my birthday, not so much as an annual tradition but a daily aspiration.

Over the last decade, during the Lenten season, I’ve spent my mornings walking through an eight-week devotional book called Developing Intimacy With God by a man named Alex Aronis. I highly recommend the book. It was recommended to me by my friend JR Woodward as I was considering a pretty significant career decision, and I’ve been through a book a dozen times since that introduction.

During my reading yesterday, the focus was on the seven last statements of Jesus. This one struck me in particular as I was reading. Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. This particular phrase, being spoken by Jesus as He was being crucified, mocked, ridiculed, and his garments were being divided and people were casting lots for them, struck me because of all of the layers of meaning that seemed to be captured within it. While I believe the words of scripture have an enduring and timeless aspect to them, I also believe that they have a lot to teach in the present moment and the particularities of today. For instance, when Jesus spoke these words, I doubt that most of those who mocked, pierced, and cast lots realized they were doing this to the Messiah.

At the same time, I think there is an indictment on each of us. His imploring is as much for us as it is for those people surrounding him. As much as we would like to say we know exactly what we are doing—nobody likes the thought of being somewhat naïve or ignorant to what they are doing—I think many times we speak and we act without thinking or fully grasping the weight and implications of our words and actions.

  • We write scathing comments on social media without much concern for how it might affect someone on the other end of our remarks—we don’t know what we are doing.
  • In the silence of others, we fill in a narrative of our own creation to belittle and alienate them, we don’t know what we are doing.
  • We don’t give our full presence to the moments that are unfolding in our lives, and those moments are magical; we don’t know what we are doing.
  • We stop having meaningful conversations, and we become one another’s accusers, when deep down each of us cries out from our soul for an Advocate; we don’t know what we are doing.
  • We choose to regularly eat unhealthy foods, or neglect our fitness and wellness, and end up planting seeds for disease and sickness in our lives that will one day be reaped to this dismay of ourselves and our loved ones; we don’t know what we are doing.

In these and in many other ways, we are needing of forgiveness. Sometimes we know exactly what we are doing, and there’s a depth of malevolence present, but many times we are unaware of the full scope of what our actions are doing to ourselves and to others. As I was reading these words of Jesus on my birthday, I felt like it gave me a space to slow down and consider how many times in my life, I have made choices, that if I had fully considered their implications, I would like to think I would have chosen differently. I’m sure that is the case for each of us. I’m not writing these words out of a sense of guilt as much as a reminder that each of us should make every attempt to tread a little more lightly and speak and act with greater gentleness toward one another and toward ourselves, because we truly do not know what we are doing much of the time.

As I consider the years that have transpired in my life, and like each of us, with no guarantee of how many years, days, hours, or seconds I have left to draw breath, make choices, speak, and act, I hope to live the remaining moments of my life with greater intentionality, with graciousness, and with a greater cognizance of my surroundings in the present, and I hope the same for you. May we each walk with greater gentleness, and may we be quick to forgive and to care for one another as best we can. From where I sit, it seems like the world could use a lot more of that.

Reflection: Veterans Day 2017

by billy, posted in Holiday, People, Reflection

Each year on or around Veterans Day (and many other holidays) I like to pause to reflect on the day–its meaning and how and why the day is observed in our culture. Since the advent of social media, Veterans Day in particular becomes a day for a collective pause. I see updated profile photos of many of my friends as they take time to remember with pride their own time of service and the people they had the opportunity to serve with. Families take time to remember and honor their relatives who made commitments of service to this country. For those who have retired, who are no longer alive, and for those who are still serving, the rest of the nation turns its eyes, thoughts, and attention to the incredible acts of service of these men and women.

Over the course of my adult life, I have had the privilege of serving in various roles with and learning from many veterans. First and foremost would likely be my Uncle Bill. who served in the Army long before I was ever born. My Uncle Bill has always demonstrated the value of serving others first. He and his late wife always practiced hospitality and generosity when we would visit his house, and even today, I know that none of his family or friends ever lack when their is a need. When I go back home, I always strive to make time to visit him and listen to the amazing stories of service and witness the example of this 82 year old relative.

In addition to Uncle Bill, another veteran I had the privilege of learning from and being mentored by was the late Chief of my tribe, Joseph Raincrow Neale. Okima (which I always called him out of respect). He served in the US Navy during WWII, and was not only an incredible spiritual leader and mentor, but was a wonderful role model with regard to service, discipline, respect, and honor. He was hard but fair, stern but compassionate, and resolute but gracious. He taught me much about what it means to give of one’s self and to never relent when it comes to hard work. He also demonstrated one of the most wonderful relationships with Jesus that I had ever seen. He set the standard for what it means to be a human being. He was a real human being.

And over the last ten years or so I’ve had the privilege of working directly with a friend of mine from my freshman year of college, a fellow West Virginian, who felt a strong call to serve, transferred from WVU to the United States Naval Academy, and served as a Force Reconnaissance Marine before launching an organization dedicated to eradicating extreme poverty and making this world more stable and safe for everyone, Nuru International. Jake has done an incredible job of bringing together a team from both the civilian and veteran community who are fiercely committed to servant leadership and bringing meaningful choices to our global neighbors.

Across every area of my life, I have had the privilege of rubbing shoulders with a number of veteran men and women, and I am constantly impressed with the discipline, courage, commitment, and tenacity that each one of them continues to bring into their daily lives. Whether it is my friend Marta who recently transitioned out and is looking for new opportunities to serve, my friend Raphael who is steadily reminding fellow Americans that their citizenship demands service, or my friend Matt who works two jobs to support his family and provide a future of hard fought freedom for his children, they each continue to bring a steadfast and resilient commitment to service and overcoming challenges into every area of their life–and exhorting others to do the same.

On Veterans Day, we remember the fallen, those who are still down range, and those who have transitioned into so-called ‘normal’ life. Businesses and individuals offer their thanks for service and applause for sacrifices that only a small percentage are willing and able to make, but I wonder if there is a stronger and more meaningful gesture. What if more of this world operated by a code of honor? What if more men and women chose to live their lives with an others first mentality? What if we chose sacrifice-over self indulgence? What if we chose to emulate the example of those few who have set aside their own comfort for the sake of their fellow humans? To me, I feel like that would be the best gesture of gratitude that could be bestowed upon those who have served, those who have fallen, and those who are still down range. In fact, earlier today, my friend Jake actually mentioned a similar idea via social media, “Look the veteran you care for the most in the eye and tell him or her that you won’t let his or her sacrifice be for nothing.”

May we each aspire to live courageous lives of sacrifice, service, courage, and commitment, and may we demonstrate honor and respect as we seek to build a better world, together.

Reflection: Marine Corps Marathon 2017

by billy, posted in Reflection

For half a decade, Jamie and I have made an annual commitment to train and to run the Marine Corps Marathon and coordinate a charity team for Nuru International. In 2013, it started with a group of my friend Jake’s classmates from the United States Naval Academy expressing a desire to participate in an effort to raise funds and awareness for Nuru. At that time, I don’t think I had ever run more than six or seven miles at one time in my entire life, and the last time I had run that far was in the summer of 2006.

Jamie and I took the opportunity to run for Nuru International as an opportunity to not only push ourselves out of our comfort zones, but also as an opportunity to invite friends and family to join our efforts to fight extreme poverty. On the day I signed up in April, I went out and ran about five miles very slowly around my neighborhood. I knew I had six months to build up capacity to be able to complete a marathon, but I wanted to get a gauge of my starting point. As the weeks rolled up, so did the miles, and by May, every long run was comprised of more miles than I had ever run in my life. And by October of that year, Jamie and I had both completed our first marathon.

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Each year, as I run, I learn something different about myself, my training, my mental toughness, and my resilience. This year was no different. This year was one of my slowest times running the distance, and in that there were a number of learnings. It was unseasonably warm on race day, and we received notifications to stay hydrated throughout the run, and I took this to heart…a little too much. My training this year was focused more on strength training than on miles of running, and I think I only had three or four runs during the entirety of 2017 that were ten miles or greater. I spent a large part of the two days prior to the event on my feet representing Nuru to the more than 100,000 visitors to the Marine Corps Marathon Expo. Any one of these factors could hurt performance, but my wife and I had also committed that we would not hold ourselves to a time goal, but would hold ourselves to the goal of completing the run.

So what did I learn this year? Well, I learned that it is of critical importance to stay focused on the larger goal. At around mile 20, I started to get nauseous and light-headed, but I knew that if I paced myself, and kept moving forward, I could finish. Sometimes in running and in life, we need to adjust our pace, and acknowledge there are often factors beyond our control that should be taken into account, and should lead us to adjust our pace. But what they should not do is disrupt us from accomplishing our larger goals, just our timelines. I believe we need to have goals in front of us to keep us moving forward. If I didn’t have a goal in front of me, it would have been easy to just stop and give up. Keep moving forward, no matter what.

I also learned that there are limits to what I can do. Over the past several months, this lesson has come up in various shapes in different parts of my life, but on marathon day, this lesson came about in an unexpected way in the form of water. I was sooooo diligent about drinking water that I overdid it. I drank more water than my body could handle. That, was what led to my nausea (and eventual vomiting after the race). There’s a condition called Hyponatremia that results when a person takes on more water than they can handle. It typically affects endurance athletes, or individuals who are just drinking too much water while exercising, and it has affected me three separate years—but this year was the worst. I was so concerned with getting dehydrated, that I drank WAY too much. I was typically drinking 5-6 cups of water/Gatorade at each of the 12 water stations along the route. The first couple of stops this wasn’t so bad, but as the race progressed I found myself forcing the water down. Big lesson for me to apply is to not only ratchet back my water consumption in future long runs, but also to look for other areas in my life where I may be overdoing it and causing more harm than good for my health and well-being.

My third lesson learned was this; my daily routine matters. I spent most of 2017 doing some type of bodyweight based strength training and mobility work. Having a daughter, I have shifted my vision toward a longer view of health, wellness, and fitness. When she is eighteen, I want to be able to walk, run, and play with her. I want to put practices in place now that will help me get to that goal. And, after running this marathon, I realized the positive impact of the daily routine of fitness pursuits. I may have been weak on training by running, but I was stronger than I have ever been physically for this race. And as a result, once I recovered from hyponatremia, I felt GREAT!!! The day after the race, I was not sore and achy because I moved with good form for the entirety of the marathon. By getting stronger and being disciplined about a daily exercise routine, I could do more and do it better than I could without it.

I’m sure more lessons will come to mind in the weeks ahead, but for now, these three are burned into my forefront. 1) Keep the larger goal in mind, and adjust pace if needed, but not the goal. 2) Don’t overdo it. Too much of a good thing (like water) can be a bad thing. 3) Maintain a daily routine, and it will make a huge difference.  May we each make room in our lives for keeping goals in front of us, adjusting our pace when needed, and reaping the benefit of establishing routines. And the more I think about these three lessons, they are really one—stay focused on the goal, and adjust and develop routines that will help you move toward it steadily!

Rocky Mountain Sunset

by billy, posted in Reflection

Earlier this year, I had the privilege of sharing at ÜberConf, a software developer conference near Denver, Colorado. West Virginia is definitely home, but Colorado is a pretty special place too. I mean, Colorado and West Virginia are both states that John Denver chose to write songs about, so I’m not alone in my appreciation.

From the hotel where my wife, my daughter and I were staying, we were able to witness some pretty tremendous views of the Front Range, and, as in years past, we have spent at least one day of our stay in Colorado exploring the wonder and altitude of the Rockies. This year we were able to travel the Guanella Pass with some of our good friends, and I was grateful for the opportunity my daughter had to spend some time at altitude near Mount Bierstadt, the first 14’er my wife and I ever climbed.

As our time at the conference was coming to an end, we were able to watch the sun slowly and spectacularly set behind the Front Range. And as I think back to witnessing this Rocky Mountain sunset, I think about the gifts we are given every day, if we are watching. Every day, the sun rises and the sun sets in spectacular ways, greeting us and saying goodbye in a compelling rhythm. Magical moments fill our days, but dawn and dusk in particular seem like a particularly incredible gift.

While the sun rises and sets with a daily rhythm, we don’t always get the privilege of witnessing these moments. Sometimes there is cloud cover. Sometimes we are sleeping, or busy with other activities. But, when we can carve time, our lives are better for it. My hope for you is to find a moment in the next week to witness the magical gift of a sunrise or sunset. May we each slow down our lives enough to appreciate these gifts.

Refraction, Reflection, and Slowing Down

by billy, posted in Reflection, Uncategorized

The photo above is an image of the Grand Prismatic Spring at Yellowstone National Park. I took that photo this past July while traveling with my family.

When I was in primary school, we had a school-wide and then a county-wide science fair each year. One of the first experiments I can remember doing involved refracting or bending light and experimenting with different media for its potential to bend or refract the light. For example, light going through water bends to a slightly different angle than water going through air.

This same principle is at work in prisms. Most common prisms add an extra dimension to my young science experiment by slowing down the light to disperse it into its constituent colors. In that process, white light becomes separated into the colors of the rainbow. It’s quite a beautiful sight to witness. The light is the same light, but by slowing it down and causing it to bend as it enters the prism and exits the other side, separates all the different colors of the light that were not as readily apparent upon entry.

I believe the same holds true when we carve out time to intentionally slow down. We live our lives with an incredible busy-ness that causes us and those around us to miss out on all the depth and color that fills our days. The blur of our lives comes into greater focus when we slow down, and take time to appreciate all the nuances of joy that saturate our days.

For instance, today I had a lot I was trying to do–including writing this blog post. But, a different points of the day I slowed down. What emerged were points of connection with several friends, major work projects moving forward, fitness, faith, a walk with family, and a song on the guitar with my daughter in some of these slowed moments.

Each day, every one of us stewards an opportunity to slow down and savor the rich colors that comprise our lives. Contrary to what circumstances may lead us to feel, we actually do have a choice to take a moment here and there to breathe, to reflect, and to savor. May each of us take time to slow down and appreciate the richness of our lives for the goodness of the world and for the strengthening of our souls.