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I was really excited to pick up a copy of The Structure of Success: A Framework To Help Build Your Business Better by Patrick Esposito in the early fall of 2023. I had seen a few of posts from the author on LinkedIn, and I’m always keen to learn about the practices that have enabled the success of others. The book is a really quick read, and it is incredibly straightforward. Often, when books like this one are released, they tend to be a point-of-entry to buy more tools to learn best practices. Instead, in this book, the author offers readers a good look at multi-purpose tools to help build and sustain one’s business.

One part of the book that struck me was its emphasis on practice and tools. Too often, people are looking for a shortcut whether in business or in life, but what we really need is to put the time in to do the work. Patrick Esposito offers chapter after chapter of examples and analysis workflows to improve strategic decision-making for individuals or teams. He flags common challenges and at the end of each chapter he offers a series of questions to help readers begin to apply practices and workflows in their own businesses.

In a book about building a successful business, I did not expect to find a nugget articulating protection from burnout, but I did. Esposito cites an April 2012 article in Bloomberg from former Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer. I’ve witnessed a wide variety of practices and programs built to encourage resilience and protect people from burnout, from maintaining physical fitness to practicing some type of mindfulness–both of which are very helpful. I had not seen this nugget before. Quoting the author below,

“Mayer suggested that resentment is an underlying cause of burnout, ‘and you beat it by knowing what it is you’re giving up that makes you resentful…So find your rhythm, understand what makes you resentful, and protect it. You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you.’ Mayer went on to suggest that if you figure out what really matters to you, you will be able to sustain an intense workload for a long time.”

I really appreciate Patrick sharing this quote as it is an often forgotten part of building resiliency. Why does someone want to be resilient? They want to not only protect themselves from burnout, they want to protect the thing or things that matter most to them, whether those things are family, personal time, physical health, or time with your children. In the same section, Esposito reminds readers that this “thing that you need to protect” may change over time, and so it is worthwhile to spend some time thinking about it.

If you are looking for tools that can help you establish solid and well tested processes for decision making, crisis management, or project planning (among other challenges) for yourself or for your business, I highly recommend Patrick Esposito’s The Structure of Success. 

As each year comes to an end, more and more print and email correspondence starts coming from businesses and nonprofits we love. It is both understandable and expected. Whether it is a nonprofit like Nuru, Team Rubicon, International Justice Mission, or Voice Of The Martyrs reminding us to think of others beyond our immediate scope, or Target, TRX, or Amazon telling us about the latest deals to consider for end of year gift giving, I was amazed at the influx of communications. There was one organization that sent me at least five giving reminders in the last two days of the year. I get it. Every day, I find myself considering the incredible blessing that has been given to those of us who live in the United States—we hit the GPS lottery! Every day, while we are being encouraged to buy more, many of our global neighbors are struggling to address basic needs.

And into that flurry of emails and my own ponderings, REI sent me two key pieces of communication. The first was a reminder to #OptOutside on #BlackFriday. REI made the decision as a company to forego one of the most profitable days to be open for any business, Black Friday. Instead, they encouraged their employees, their customers, and their cooperative members (REI is a cooperative) to spend the day outside doing the things they love with people they love. For our part, Jamie and I relaxed in Morgantown together and went for a hike through the neighborhood with Sylvia. That’s been a part of our daily routine almost every day since she arrived, and it was our routine through the days and months that we awaited her arrival. It was relaxing, refreshing, and didn’t cost us anything but an hour or two of our time. Spending our days in this way refreshes our spirits, and it was a superior alternative to getting up early and rushing around for a deal. I love the fact that REI chose to encourage people to get outdoors, and I hope that the trend catches on.

But, REI didn’t stop there. They sent a print catalog in the mail (which of course we recycled). In that print catalog they included this poem about more. Here was a company that exists by selling products, reminding its customers on the front pages of an advertisement to not get caught up in the desire for more. As a company, they were encouraging their potential customers to pause before they purchased some new item to ask the question, “Will this aid us in doing what we love?”

I’m so thankful for the fact that REI took time to remind me during a season that is filled with spending and buying things that those things are not important.  As the poem states, more is a liar. Each year, Jamie and I take an inventory of items we have acquired and make a decision to release some of those items to bring joy to others. This year is no exception, and as we do, we have placed this poem on our fridge to keep us mindful of the fact that more is a liar.

May each of us take time to value others, savor moments, and #OptOutside more often in 2020!

After a long battle with a variety of physical challenges, my uncle, Kenneth Leon Williams, died on June 3, 2019 at the age of 69 in his hometown of Parkersburg, WV. He’s the one on the far right in the photo above. That’s my dad, Uncle Russell,  Uncle Bill, and Uncle Kenny from left to right–four of eight siblings in my dad’s family.

I’ll cherish a number of memories of Uncle Kenny. From when I was a kid,  I remember  him inviting me and Dad over to show off his new weed whacker shortly after its purchase. But more vividly than any other memory, I remember Uncle Kenny riding his bicycles (with a bright orange safety flag on display) over to our house for a quick visit.  He would regularly make his way through town on his bicycle for as long as he was able, and he would always make it a point to stop and visit with family as he went on his rides.

As he got older my memories of him shifted from witnessing him on his bike to witnessing him visit hospitals multiple times in Morgantown, WV,  both to fight cancer and recover from a broken neck. When I was home in Parkersburg, I would regularly see him at 19th St Church of God with my Uncle Russell and Aunt Flora. Any time I was around him, regardless of his situation, he was almost always smiling and making space for a little humor.

And, during the times I was in town and didn’t see him, I remember him phoning his brothers and joking with each of them, leaving long voice messages reasoning out every possibility of where they could be if they were unable to answer.

As I think about Kenny now in glory with His King, I’m grateful for all of the little moments of laughter he shared with family throughout his 69 years on this earth. While circumstances prevented me from joining family and friends who gathered for his funeral, I’m grateful for the fact that Uncle Kenny demonstrated joy in the simple things to everyone with whom he came in contact.

His parting is also a sober reminder to me, that our life is a vapor. May we each savor every moment we’ve been given to its fullest, and may we live our lives as a sign, a foretaste, and an instrument of a Kingdom that will have no end, where goodness, joy, and love reign, and where there will no longer be a need for tears of sadness.

On June 5^th, at 1452 EDT (2:52PM) our wonderful son, Simon Charles, entered the world wide-eyed and alert. He weighed in at a whopping nine pounds and one ounce, and was twenty-three and three quarters inches long. He is handsome, and we are completely thrilled to meet him. I feel like we have once again been sharing tears of joy and big smiles with this little miracle from the moment we first laid eyes on him.

I say miracle for a couple of reasons. Foremost in my mind is that any time we witness a new life coming into the world, there is definitely something miraculous about it. I mean, this new life has been growing for the past nine months in his mother’s womb, moving and listening, complete with hiccups and kicks. Watching a child emerge into this world is just such a joy-filled experience. We witness before us future hopes and the potential making of a better world. That’s the first reason for my use of the word miracle.

The second reason I use the word miracle is because there are no guarantees that every family will have children by natural childbirth. We have many friends (many aunts and uncles for Sylvia and Simon) who just have not been able to do so. In our case, we had a second layer of uncertainty with regard to our prospects because Jamie has had a health condition, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), that led to an irregularity with her menstrual cycle, and also contributed to an inability to have a menstrual cycle without taking estrogen. Through a combination of prayer, exercise, healthy food choices, and rest, Jamie was able to start to have a menstrual cycle, and now, we hae been blessed to be stewards of two small miracles.

Simon has been full of energy from the moment he left the womb. His mouth quickly made its way to his mother’s breast, and he’s been quickly adjusting to this world. He’s alert and just soaking in this amazing world around him, something we all could do a little more of to be honest.

And Jamie, she is such an incredible warrior! She went through the whole process of labor once more with this resolute focus and calm that is truly a gift to witness. I want to be as calm and focused when big challenges come my way. I know many people compare giving birth to running a marathon, but, as an outside observer who has done one and will never do the other, the consistent thread I’ve witnessed in Jamie’s life is this. Each of us are capable of far more than we realize, and as I’ve watched Jamie deliver two children and run five marathons, I’m witnessing such a beautiful strength and deep awareness emerge from within her. These last few hours watching her confidently nurse Simon, hold him, and nurture are an additional gift as we enjoy these early moments of Simon’s life together.

And as I pray for my son and his journey on this earth, I pray that God will awaken the same deep understanding of what is possible for him, and that He will guide me and Jamie with the wisdom and discipline to nurture the development of his gifts and possibilities.

Jamie and I are filled with gratitude for this entire journey we have together with our growing family. We are thankful for the prayers and support of so many friends—they have truly sustained us, and we know that those prayers are also a gift. May our son be blessed with a deep awareness of how loved and capable he is.

Just like his older sister, Simon is beginning a life that, God willing, will see him grow to be a compassionate servant leader, a faithful steward of resources, and a caring and considerate follower of the way of Jesus. Over these last few months, we have been praying often for him to know God and bring glory to His name, that he would go so much farther than we have in our own faith journeys, and that others would be blessed through the life he leads.

May we each faithfully and graciously walk together in the path that Love has set before us, and may we be wise stewards of all of the wonder He has entrusted to us.

 

 

Over the last couple of years, I’ve witnessed the untimely death of long-time friends as well as major health crises that could have resulted in the loss of others. It’s had me considering more and more the value of time, and the importance of cherishing our days. An ancient songwriter wrote a prayer that we would learn to number our days and in doing so acquire a heart of wisdom. For Judeo-Christian cultures it is intriguing the importance that is placed on articles like the ten commandments, and yet we often neglect the practice of Sabbath and rest—which is a way of honoring the time given to each of us and creating space for a reminder that our identity is not in what we do, but who we are.

Our life is truly a vapor. During the summer of 2016, two of my life-long friends had heart attacks. One of them died, and the other survived because he was in close proximity to a hospital. One was 55 and the other was 42. It is sobering to visit a casket or a hospital and look at a peer, and think, “That could very easily have been me.”

I realize this post could seem a bit morbid, but I don’t mean it to be. Rather, I am writing just thinking about how we are often very mindful of how we steward our money or other resources that are limited, but we do not give the same consideration of time. We think we have an endless supply, but it is truly a limited resource. Just a few weeks ago, I was talking over dinner, with a good friend who is also a software developer, and Nuru supporter. He was talking about this very concept—how time is our most precious resource and how none of us know how much we have—and so we need to be mindful of how we spend each day.

As we continued talking, I asked my friend more about his daily and weekly rhythms. I consider him one of the wisest people I know, and he walked through the intentionality of each of his days and weeks. He has committed much of his time to teaching and educating others, but he also has built into his rhythm a space for writing, for reflection, and for prayer and quality time with his family. He and his wife go for daily walks together as the evening arrives as both a time of connection and a time of being physically active. As we talked, I was deeply encouraged that Jamie and I have developed very similar rhythms. (Although, we haven’t developed a time of family prayer formally yet).

Today, may we all more deeply savor, enjoy, and steward the precious gift of time we have been given. Every moment is precious and unique. Today is a gift—let’s never squander the opportunity we have been given to bring our all into each moment, and, as we are able, may we each work toward ensuring that the quality of our days all it can be through making wise choices with them. We are not in control of the quantity. As the author Annie Dillard once said, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives,” so let each one of us spend wisely. What how will you treasure, cherish, and spend your time?

A number one New York Times Best-Seller, Jamie and I had skimmed portions of this book on many visits to Barnes and Noble before we took the plunge and decided to purchase it. In her book, the life changing magic of tidying up: the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by marie kondo, she lays out a methodology as well as builds a case for the necessity of decluttering our homes through pursuing simplicity in our spaces. She also has a series on Netflix right now…

Each year, Jamie and I make a concerted effort toward pursuing simplicity, and it always seems like a steady journey more than a final destination. My hunch is that this is true for most folks who pursue simplicity. One does not necessarily “arrive” as much as one deploys tools and activities to cultivate simplicity. Kondo’s book is one such tool.

If you desire greater simplicity in your home, feel like your space is becoming cluttered and chaotic, or simply want to have a framework for getting rid of and organizing your things, then definitely pick up a copy of this book.

The book contains a series of what feel like gigantic steps that can be taken to eliminate clutter. I say they feel gigantic, because the activities confront us with just how much stuff many of us tuck away into various receptacles. Her starting point for tidying up is found in our wardrobes, and her challenge is this. Take EVERY item of clothing you own, and dump it on the floor in one space. In this one act, Jamie and I were confronted pretty powerfully with the incredible amount of t-shirts and other clothing we have amassed at conferences and events over the years as well as just how much we tuck away, awaiting for the “right” occasion to wear something that just isn’t worn out yet. Kondo’s approach to clothing is one of shock and awe. First, there is a shock to seeing the sheer volume of clothing we have. And then comes the awe. She says that we should only keep items of clothing that evoke joy when we wear them. If we don’t wear them, or if they do not evoke joy when we wear them, it’s time for them to go.

Kondo goes systematically through every major area of the home including (gulp!) books with a similar methodology. For me, her book was a catalyst to take a hard look at my book collection and evaluate texts based on the joy they evoked. My temptation has always been to hold on to books in the event that I might want to share a reference in a talk I give or in something I write. As I took a look at my collection of books, I realized that many were highly unlikely to be read again, and while I found most of the books I have read to be beneficial and shaping, that benefit and shaping has largely already taken place with most of those books. And so, I have said goodbye or I have books in a staging area preparing for their farewell before they delight a new reader, as a result of this book.

Looking for a kick-start to decluttering your home and life, look no further than this book. If you have attempted and failed in the past, you may have a kindred spirit in the author. She also attempted many other paths to decluttering her life before she landed on this one, and she deploys it with others on a regular basis now. Her book is a gift to us if we are looking for ways to bring greater simplicity and less clutter into our lives.

A few years back, one of my coworkers at Nuru, Charles Molloy, recommended The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality For Real Life by James Martin, SJ, to me as a good book to read regarding spiritual formation. For those who know me, this has been a topic of interest for me for many years, and one in which I strive to practice what I learn with regularity. Martin has been a guest on multiple occasions to The Colbert Report when it was a show, and his book is a New York Times Bestseller.

At over 400 pages, the book can appear an intimidating tome, but once one cracks it open and begins to read, it is a very quick read. The book, in my estimation, is a bit of an anecdotal and biographical/experiential commentary and guide to a much older book, The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius. In another post, I’ve mentioned a similar book Developing Intimacy With God by Alex Aronis (which I work through at least once per year) as a great book for exploring and cultivating one’s relationship with God. I found Martin’s book to be written to make itself available to both the committed and to those who are irreligious or perhaps spiritual seekers.

The beauty of the book is in the mixture of Martin’s personal stories and examples. He writes in such a way that the text is approachable by anyone: Catholic or Protestant, deeply committed or exploring/seeking. He offers well-tested insights to making steady improvement in one’s life, and suggests that we take time to reflect on moments where we experience the presence of something beyond the ordinary in our daily existence.

I would highly recommend this book at any time, but The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything lends itself very well as a study for the Lenten season. Given that Lent is a time for letting go of or adding activities specifically to grow closer with God and identify more intimately with Jesus during his time in the wilderness, this book could be a tool to be used to accomplish both. If you do read it, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, and that it spurs you on in your own faith journey.

As I continued my training, I knew that I wanted to push through to be able to complete as much of the training as possible with the amazing group of people with which I started this journey. In order to do that, I had to travel to the West Coast and conduct one part of my training at the international headquarters of Coaches Training Institute (CTI) in San Rafael, California.

Each time I have attended the trainings offered, I have been impressed with both the instructors and the people who are getting trained. These folks are facilitating so much good in the world, particularly for those in both the non-profit and for-profit arenas.

This course was almost like a new start in a new area with a whole new group of people. But, at the same time, there was something familiar about the group—aside from a couple of familiar faces who had also traveled to stay “on schedule” with their goals around Co-Active Coaching. People who came to this training were also coming from different countries and time zones, but the consistent ingredient was that each was bringing his/her whole self. I witnessed such incredible courage from a room full of relative strangers, and I found myself braver in consideration of what I wanted to do in this big world as well.

I learned a lot about myself during the course of this weekend, and it wasn’t at all what I expected. I expected to learn something about work/life balance or home/travel balance. What I gained was far different and far more of an asset. I came away from the training more deeply in tune with my role and my contributions to all of life as a leader. Not only that, but I was also equipped with skills that can help others do the same and be unleashed to go farther than they may have thought possible.

A few years ago I stumbled onto a blog that shared seven exercises to undo the damage done to one’s musculature from sitting. That blog included a recommendation of another book by Kelly Starrett called Becoming A Supple Leopard, which I quickly read and reviewed. I seriously devoured the book in a couple of days because I was so fascinated with Starrett’s findings with regard to our physiology. I also picked up a book by Dr. Starrett called Ready To Run—that book recommended some exercises and routines specific for runners to be able to run with less tendency toward injury.

In 2016, Dr. Starrett published a new book that had been highly anticipated, Deskbound: Standing Up To A Sitting World. Deskbound does not deviate from Starrett’s previous writings, but rather focuses in on what may be one of the most significant physiological contributors to poor mobility and injury today. We are a culture of sitters. We sit at work. We sit when we travel. We sit when we attend cultural events, whether sports, concerts, or movies. We sit when watching television and when grabbing a meal. We spend so much time sitting that some of our muscles are chronically tight while others are incredibly loose, and therefore incredibly weak.

The book is a combination of recommended guidelines and mobility exercises to start undoing the damage caused by a lifetime of sitting. One of my favorite aspects of each of Starrett’s books is that he gives practical suggestions and hacks for working on mobility 10-15 minutes per day. In this latest book, he takes into account that some people may be stuck in an office and has developed a “deskbound” version of some of these mobility exercises.

One of the biggest takeaways I have had since reading the book is that I am now more cognizant of (and trying to correct) my mechanics when performing certain activities. As an example, for the last few years, when possible I work from a standing desk. While the standing desk is a move in the right direction (prolonged sitting and the sedentary lifestyle are definitely terrible for us on a number of levels), Starrett’s book has made me more cognizant of my (poor) posture and I now focus energy toward correcting, strengthening, and improving mobility.

Deskbound has four main guidelines for preventing and solving problems related to sitting.

1. Reduce optional sitting in your life. Some of us are stuck at a desk, or we are driving a bus or car for long periods. But, there are times when we have a choice. We can watch TV standing up. We can choose to have conversations with friends while walking. Just by getting up and moving, we can start undoing damage and prevent further damage.
2. For every 30 minutes we are sitting, move for at least 2 minutes. This one is particularly helpful for me when I am away from home, and I’m sitting in a coffee shop or office space working on a project. I can get “in the zone” and sit for a long period focused on writing or working on projects on my laptop. These activities slow my circulation and I will catch myself leaning forward with hunched shoulders. Getting up for a couple of minutes every half hour helps me reset and correct. It also helps me focus too. I can jump right back into the work refreshed and energized.
3. Prioritize position and mechanics when possible. For me, this is the big area of focus. Whether I am standing, walking, or running I try to think through how my body is stacked and if I need to make corrections to my stance. Sometimes when Jamie and I are walking she will poke her fingers into my thoracic spine if she sees me slouching. Her reminder helps me to focus and prioritize good position and mechanics.
4. Perform 10-15 minutes of daily maintenance/mobility. This just means taking time to work through areas of tension and weakness so that physiologically the body is working better. Starrett recommends that if a person is trying to improve mobility, then a stretch or other mobility activity should be done for at least two minutes to have benefit. One of the stretches he (and I) highly recommend is the couch stretch—which does not mean laying on the couch.

I highly recommend all of Dr. Starrett’s books, but if I were choosing one based on the greatest need and area of focus for most of us, I would choose Deskbound. All of his books talk about mobility and provide helpful photos and explanations of proper positioning and exercises, but in Deskbound, Kelly takes a very close look at specific mechanical faults caused by sitting that lead us to injury in sport and in daily life and also offers a pathway to making corrections. May we each move more freely, and carve out time from behind the desk to move well!