The Constraints Of Time

by billy, posted in Reflection, Wellness

It has been quite a long time since my last writing reflection on this site. In full disclosure, in the era of AI, I’ve been wrestling through what type of content from my life and experience I want to share in public arenas, sensing that it will be quickly gobbled up as training data, whether I’ve granted express permission or not. But here’s a little content for reflection…

In our modern world, we do not like the idea of limits, and we seem to be constantly encouraged to hold the concept of limits in tension. While on the one hand, every person is encouraged to do and be all of the things, we are also faced with the fact that we just can’t and so we have to choose how to make the most of the precious time we’ve been given.

Some marketers try to encourage us to spend our limited financial resources on material products that promise in some way to make our lives more enjoyable. Others entice with the allure of a good investment of our time, and tap into our fear of missing out on a bargain. If we aren’t careful, we spend that time without a lot to show for it.

Technology tools like artificial intelligence promise to give us greater freedom for time and money. Social networking tools tell us we can be influential, connected, and powerful.  No matter what positive possibilities these tools might provide, we are not limitless. We are served by understanding that there are very real constraints on the time we have. We have limits to what we can accomplish in a day, a week, a month, a year, and a lifetime. Every single one of us will die one day, and all of us will have hiccups emerge in our schedules that will give poignant reminders of the limits of our day.

As a husband, a father, and a human being dedicated to making a difference in and with the time I’ve been given. And over the last several years, I’ve become increasingly convinced that the constraints of time are a gift, although they don’t necessarily feel like it in the moment. When I’m running late to arrive at a meeting, and I realize my car has a flat, I’m confronted with my days have very real limits, and I’m compelled to make choices. And maybe that’s the real challenge—we don’t like making choices and committing. We’ve been led to believe that we can do everything. But that’s not true. We have the ability to do almost anything with the limited time we have, but we can’t do everything.

So what are we to do?

Embrace limits. There is only so much time available to us in a day. Instead of fighting against this fact, by embracing the constraints of time, we can also accept that we can only accomplish so many tasks in a given amount of time. We can also limit the amount of time we will spend on a given activity. Four years ago, I started taking violin lessons. It was amazing how much progress I was able to make in a few months simply by committing 20 minutes each day to the practice. There was a limit to my practice time, but by applying it consistently, I made incremental improvements.

Determine to which tasks and opportunities we are willing to say yes or no.Again, when we understand the constraints of time, there is a certain freedom to making an informed yes or no to a meeting, an appointment, a party, or some other event. Recently we were invited to a Major League Baseball game in a town that is 90 minutes from our home. The opportunity sounded incredible. But, my wife and I started thinking about all of the potential problems with this opportunity. We would be committing at least three hours to driving. The game would likely last three hours. We would want to arrive early to watch batting practice and explore the stadium. We would need to account for spending money on food as well. And then, we looked at the time of day for the event. It was seven in the evening. That would mean a likely midnight arrival home for us and our children. We would all be very tired the next day. As much as we wanted to say yes to the fun of going to the baseball game, we knew that we would also be saying no to doing many other activities during the day of the game and the following one. We chose to say no to the game to have longer windows of time for taking care of other responsibilities (yardwork, laundry, cleaning) and opportunities for recreation (hiking, swimming, playing board games). When we learn to say no effectively, we can say yes even more heartily.

Stop trying to multitask. We’ve all been there, whether it is trying to knock out a quick email, text, or slack message while enjoying a meal, or having multiple tabs open as we carry several projects forward. If you are anything like me, you end up with a long running list of tabs open, conversations partially completed, and the haunting suspicion that you are forgetting something else. In an effort to reduce this temptation, I’ve found it helpful to keep my phone put away during meals and other occasions to focus on being more present to the food and the company in front of me. I’ve also made it a point to start tracking tasks using analog tools, so my running list is an actual list and not a series of tabs that I’ll get to in just a few minutes. Modern technology and tool providers try to convince us that we can multitask and get more done, but often what these technologies provide is more distractions.

Build a rhythm and a rule for our days, weeks, months, and years (with margins). This one has been an area of growing emphasis for me. Using analog tools like a Passion Planner, or a wall calendar from Neu Year has really helped me frame my days. I especially like the Neu Year’s Action Plan Pad for framing out the day in a way that forces me to think about and reassess how long an activity takes. These products have helped me bring my life and my aspirations into greater focus and assess what can be reasonably accomplished in various time horizons. They’ve also helped me take a hard look at cultivating habits with the understanding that I can only build a few at a time, and that there are certain arenas of life, rooted in my values that are non-negotiable when it comes to how I steward the time I’ve been given.

Regardless of the tools and techniques we use, each of us are constrained by time, and although it may not feel like it at times when we are confronted with those limits, when we embrace the constraint, we can more wisely steward the moments we have been given. And my hope for you is that you will be able to steward your moments in such a way that as you look back over your life, you find increasing joy, warmth, and fulfillment in how you use the time you’ve been allotted.

Review: The Structure Of Success by Patrick Esposito

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

I was really excited to pick up a copy of The Structure of Success: A Framework To Help Build Your Business Better by Patrick Esposito in the early fall of 2023. I had seen a few of posts from the author on LinkedIn, and I’m always keen to learn about the practices that have enabled the success of others. The book is a really quick read, and it is incredibly straightforward. Often, when books like this one are released, they tend to be a point-of-entry to buy more tools to learn best practices. Instead, in this book, the author offers readers a good look at multi-purpose tools to help build and sustain one’s business.

One part of the book that struck me was its emphasis on practice and tools. Too often, people are looking for a shortcut whether in business or in life, but what we really need is to put the time in to do the work. Patrick Esposito offers chapter after chapter of examples and analysis workflows to improve strategic decision-making for individuals or teams. He flags common challenges and at the end of each chapter he offers a series of questions to help readers begin to apply practices and workflows in their own businesses.

In a book about building a successful business, I did not expect to find a nugget articulating protection from burnout, but I did. Esposito cites an April 2012 article in Bloomberg from former Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer. I’ve witnessed a wide variety of practices and programs built to encourage resilience and protect people from burnout, from maintaining physical fitness to practicing some type of mindfulness–both of which are very helpful. I had not seen this nugget before. Quoting the author below,

“Mayer suggested that resentment is an underlying cause of burnout, ‘and you beat it by knowing what it is you’re giving up that makes you resentful…So find your rhythm, understand what makes you resentful, and protect it. You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you.’ Mayer went on to suggest that if you figure out what really matters to you, you will be able to sustain an intense workload for a long time.”

I really appreciate Patrick sharing this quote as it is an often forgotten part of building resiliency. Why does someone want to be resilient? They want to not only protect themselves from burnout, they want to protect the thing or things that matter most to them, whether those things are family, personal time, physical health, or time with your children. In the same section, Esposito reminds readers that this “thing that you need to protect” may change over time, and so it is worthwhile to spend some time thinking about it.

If you are looking for tools that can help you establish solid and well tested processes for decision making, crisis management, or project planning (among other challenges) for yourself or for your business, I highly recommend Patrick Esposito’s The Structure of Success. 

Review: Ideaflow: The Only Business Metric That Matters by Jeremy Utley and Perry Klebahn

by billy, posted in Review

There are a ton of books out there that hype a program, a protocol, or pathway for becoming a better leader or entrepreneur.  Most of these have some merit, but they can often feel almost interchangeable. That is not the case with Ideaflow, the first book published by Jeremy Utley and Perry Klebahn. The authors credibly and concisely drill down into creativity and innovation tools and examples in a way that I have not witnessed in other “productivity” type books.

The book starts off with a strong level of credibility based on who the authors are. They have worked for top tier companies and trained top tier leaders at the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design (a.k.a. the  d.school) at Stanford for more than a decade. The techniques and practices they introduce in Ideaflow have been tested with hundreds of leaders across cultures and sectors. Having access to time-tested tools is a gift in itself.

I appreciate that this book was written for individuals, and written with tons of encouragement. In the introduction, the authors say “Creativity isn’t a gift reserved for a precious few. It’s learned. If you haven’t done so yet, it’s simply a matter of knowledge, time, and effort.” Did you get that? Creativity is available for everyone, but it takes time and effort. It also takes knowledge. Ideaflow provides a wonderful starting point for gaining knowledge, but no book can put forth effort for you. 

Ideaflow as a concept is tied to the principle that quantity drives quantity. This can seem counterintuitive for many of us. When we try to solve problems, we will often work until a “good” idea comes along. Good often means, “workable.” We stop at that moment and shift into execution mode. Ideaflow encourages each of us to stoke the muscles of creativity by continuing to generate ideas after a “good” idea comes along, and to push past “good enough” to find something really innovative. 

In the first couple of chapters of the book, the authors offer a simple daily exercise to get creative juices flowing. Before going to bed, seed your mind with a worthwhile problem to sleep on. The next morning, generate ten ideas as to how you can solve the problem. It doesn’t have to be a massive problem, just a problem that you don’t know the answer to. A true problem only responds to new ideas. Since reading this book, I’ve found myself seeding problems as I go to bed (but not stressing about the problems), and the next morning, I spend just a few minutes writing down or reflecting on solutions. It has been a tremendous aid to improving my personal Ideaflow. The authors define Ideaflow as number of ideas generated divided by time–the higher the ratio, the better the ideaflow. 

One thing I hope for in future printings of this book is some type of discussion guide. The tools and practices in this book are great for individuals and groups who are disciplined enough to engage with them, but I think many more would benefit from discussion questions or some type of corresponding workbook to further encourage people to practice working their innovation muscles. 

Rather than going into more detail around techniques and key learnings, I simply recommend that you grab a copy of this book and start putting tactics into practice. Don’t worry about whether other people are on board with innovation. Grab this book, learn these tools, and put them into practice. Jeremy Utley and Perry Klebahn have bundled up robustly tested tools at an affordable price in Ideaflow. 

Reflection: Unleash Goodness And Hope

by billy, posted in People, Philanthropy, Reflection, Uncategorized

This past month has been filled with emotional turns in a way that I can’t recall anything similar. As the month started, like many people I was savoring and enjoying the exploits of the Olympics. Every time the Olympics return, I find myself encouraged and inspired by the stories of individuals overcoming incredible challenges to compete, by the examples of dedication and pursuit of excellence, and by the witnessing of athletes from around the world giving their best effort as the excel in the arena of sport. I watched many of the events each evening with my wife, four year old daughter, and two year old son. My daughter has been pretending to be Allyson Felix, Athing Mo, Katie Ledecky, and Simone Biles as she swims, runs and does acrobatics all over the house. The Olympics seem to be a celebration and reminder of goodness in the world. At least that is my perspective from watching on television. This year’s Olympics were even more special because we missed out on the event last year, and COVID seemed like it was going to prevent the games from happening entirely. In spite of all of the challenges, our world came together and rallied around athletes from around the globe as they brought their best to Tokyo.

Now, all of that hope, possibility, and enthusiasm seems to be waning and washing away. COVID cases are rising as well as COVID related deaths, particularly among those who are unable or unwilling to get vaccinated. Hospitals are surging in admissions and people are being confronted with the sobering truth that this pandemic is not behind us.

In addition, for the second time in eleven years, Haiti was hit with an earthquake above 7.0 in scale. This time, the earthquake followed quickly on the heels of the assassination of Haiti’s President just a little over a month ago, and has been quickly followed by tropical storms washing over the Caribbean island country and these storms are further slowing any rescue efforts for people trapped or injured by the collapse of buildings on the island. 

At nearly the same time, Halfway around the world, the US pulled its last remaining troops out of Afghanistan, and the Taliban quickly moved across the country to take it over. Millions of Afghanis, fearful for their lives, made their way to the city of Kabul only to find that their President had disappeared, their government had collapsed, and the Taliban insurgency is once again in control. Now, there are tens of thousands of Afghan allies and supporters who had helped the US military in their war against the Taliban who are now trapped in country. I can’t imagine what this news must feel like for every man and woman who served as part of coalition forces in Afghanistan over the last twenty years. 

The fact that so many people around the world have mobile devices that allow them to record video and take photos of what is happening around them also brings these tragedies around the globe into our lives in unprecedented ways. We witness the crowds gathering in Kabul trying to hold on to a cargo plane as it lifts off from the airport. We witness the collapse of buildings and hear the cries of people who are unsure of what to do. 

All of this news overwhelms and incites fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, and despair in visceral ways. Those are perfectly normal responses to these kinds of tragedy. In the middle of those emotions we can also become paralyzed from action, or devote our energy to an attempt to assign blame. Someone has to be responsible for this, right?! Even in the case of the virus and earthquake there is a sense that something could have been done to prevent the spread of COVID or that someone could have ensured buildings were built to be more safe and resilient to earthquakes and floods. What are we to do?

Not all of us are in a position to take action, and for that reason we can feel a bit helpless and hopeless. In times like these we each need to hold on to hope and ground ourselves in gratitude. We could could be suffering in the aftermath of an earthquake, a coup, or grieving the loss of a loved one from COVID. Hold fast to gratitude for the gifts in your life. Right now, what are five things you are grateful for? What is one thing that makes you hopeful? Stop what you are doing right now, and think about your response to those questions.

From this place, what is one action you can take? It is all too easy to come up with a laundry list of the things you are not able to do. Don’t start down that path. Whatever action you come up with might feel insignificant in the face of the size of some of the problems we are witnessing in the world right now. It is not insignificant–doing nothing is though. If you are having trouble thinking of something you can do, here are four options for starters.

1) Reach out to friends who may have a close connection to Afghanistan or Haiti (service members, humanitarian workers, refugees). A text or a phone call might be just what they need to be reminded that other people care about what they are going through.

2) Register to deploy or donate to an organization like Team Rubicon. Founded by veterans and launched initially in Haiti, this organization does incredible disaster response work, and even if you don’t travel to Haiti, you can find opportunities to serve near your home community.

3) Donate to an organization like Nuru International working to help some of the most vulnerable and marginalized communities to chart a pathway out of poverty and toward lasting hope. 

4) Write a letter to your elected representative. Let them know you want our country to do what we can to help those who are hurting and suffering right now. 

I can tell you that each of these actions matters. Too many of us are too worried and too paralyzed to take concrete action. Alone we cannot solve the massive challenges that our facing our world or even our local community, but together, when we each do our part, we can chart a better future together. What will you do to unleash goodness in our shared world today? Get started!

Remembering Jeff Giosi And Reflecting On Mortality

by billy, posted in Fitness, People, Reflection

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom
~Ancient Hebrew Prophet

Memento mori. (Remember that you must die.)
~Ancient Roman/Latin Proverb

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”
~Tecumseh, historic Shawnee leader

A little over a week ago, I learned that another friend of mine had died. The last five years of my life, it seems like I have witnessed a steady stream of friends near my age meeting with death at an earlier time than I would have ever anticipated; I don’t think I’m that old, but at the same time, I’m not a “spring chicken” either. Jeff Giosi is the latest one of these, and in many ways the most shocking to me and to all who knew him. As I write these words, like many others who have been writing and sharing online over the past week, I feel like the words fall short of all that is running through my mind.

I’ve known Jeff for over fifteen years. We served in the same faith communities, and we also shared many friends in other arenas, including several individuals who are from the athletic community in and around West Virginia University. In 2007, we even played on the same community league basketball team together. For anyone who knew Jeff, you know basketball was not his strongest suit, and you also know that we definitely had more fun on our team than any other in the league.

Jeff leading community league teammates through a pre-game warm up in 2007

The last two times I saw Jeff were at the local pool. He and I both were striving to learn how to swim and improve our technique, but for slightly different reasons. Both of us were trying to master a new skill, but for Jeff, he was mastering it as he prepared to compete at an elite level in a fitness competition this past summer.

Jeff is one of the strongest and most disciplined human beings I have ever known. He came to West Virginia University and Morgantown as a decathlete. He then moved on to serve as a strength and conditioning coach on multiple WVU athletic teams, and at the time of his death, he was leading a local CrossFit community and helping hundreds of other people in the community find a renewed sense of health, fitness, and self-discipline through exercise.

When I think about Jeff, I think of him of someone who gives 100% in everything he puts his mind to. He gives 100% to his faith, his family, his friendships, and his fitness. I see images of him in my mind striving to be his best and bring out the best in others. His life serves as an example of a heroic life lived as a warrior seeking the good of all.

I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by a community of incredibly disciplined people who, when I look to my right or left, remind me to keep pushing to be the best version of myself. One of Jeff’s additional strengths in this regard is that he seemed to be able to draw that kind of discipline out of others. Much like sculptors or painters who can envision the finished work of art as they paint and chisel away, Jeff seemed to have an innate sense of the potential of those around him, and he constantly challenged them to realize it.

Jeff chose to believe in many of those around him even when they didn’t believe in their own selves. That was one of Jeff’s amazing gifts to this world. Just imagine what the world would be like, or even your own life, if you chose to believe that you could be better than you are right now, and you began to work for it.

At 40, Jeff was young when he died, and his death has left thousands of people shocked. He was incredibly fit and healthy, at least by all appearances. But he also had a genetic weakness in the form of a weakened aorta that led to an aortal aneurysm. He knew about this weakened aorta—it was with him at birth. His entire life, he lived with the knowledge that death could come for him at any moment through an aortic aneurysm, that his death could very likely come abruptly in this form. His wife and family also knew. He died while exercising with his CrossFit community, and died in the midst of his daily regimen to make himself and those around him better.

While the first thing that comes to mind for most people is Jeff’s pursuit in the realm of fitness, he just lived all of his life with an intensity that is rare. If you were privileged to spend time with him, he thought deeply about life, he laughed heartily and reflected a life lived with a deep and abiding joy. If you knew him, you knew he was also one of your biggest fans. He believed in the possibility and potential living inside each and every person he met, and he longed to help others live a fuller life even as he strived to do the same.

He was fond of the latin phrase, Memento mori, “Remember your death” and he had even talked about this on a podcast (take a minute and give it a listen) approximately one year before he died. The world lost an incredible warrior and champion for good in Jeff Giosi. He lived as an example, to me and to a number of others, of what it looks like to live one’s life mindful of one’s mortality, and striving to bring out the best in one’s own self and in others.

Jeff is survived by his wife and two kids. Unfortunately, in the midst of all of the good Jeff was doing, he did not have life insurance in place for his family. A group of family friends have organized a Go Fund Me page for Jeff’s wife and kids. If you have the capacity to give in support of his wife Sarah and sons Arlen and Mackie, I have every confidence that these funds will be stewarded well, and would encourage you to give.

As I think about the events of the last few days, this statement from an ancient Christian writer, comes to mind. Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. I’ve probably been meditating on phrases like this more over the last five years than during my entire life. I don’t want to seem morbid in doing so. For me, contemplating my own mortality drives me to think about how I want to spend each day, not knowing if it is my last. I believe that when I do so, it helps me be more mindful of the impact and legacy I want to have when I’ve breathed my last breath.

For each of us, I believe there is a strength to be found in contemplating our own mortality. It helps us clarify a few things. How do I want to live? What do I want to be remembered for? What good can I be doing today? How can I best love and care for the person or people who are around me right now? How do I best care for my spouse and children? How do I best care for my co-workers and neighbors? What is the most loving thing I can do today for my friends? Where can I help and contribute to a better world? What can I do today in pursuit of becoming the best version of myself?

Around four years ago, Jamie and I found out we were going to have a child. Around two years ago, we found out we were going to have a second child. It led me to begin thinking about my own life on a longer horizon. None of us know how much time we have left on this earth. At the same time, I want to plan as though I could be here for a long time, and build habits that will help me be healthier and stronger than I would be otherwise in the future. There’s nothing to be lost in doing this. Just like Jeff pursued excellence every day, not knowing how long he had left, he did it with the vision of the kind of life he wanted to be living when his boys (who are roughly the same ages as my children) had grown to be adults. I think each of us should live daily mindful of the present and also looking ahead at two horizons, one that stretches to the end of our life, and the second horizon looking beyond this life.

What is it that you want to be true of your life today? What do you want to be true 30 years from now? What do you want to be your legacy? May we all live our lives mindful of the limited time we have to live in this life, and live it in pursuit of the best version of ourselves with a view to what we can do in service of others whether that be our family, our community, or the world at large.

Four Ways To Regain Control Of Your Life During Times Of Uncertainty…Or Any Time

by billy, posted in Fitness, Wellness

A little over 20 years ago, I started my first real “grown up” job. I was working as a chemist for what was at the time one of the world’s largest generic drug manufacturers. I was showing up to work early, staying late to make sure the work was getting done, and I was coming home utterly exhausted. I felt like I had very little energy, and I couldn’t seem to get the most basic things done. I had images in my mind of my parents (who both worked full-time jobs) coming home from work, preparing dinner, working in the garden, going fishing, canning vegetables, playing cards, and still finding time to spend with me and my brother and sister. A year into my job as a chemist, and I couldn’t understand how they did it. I was waking up early, working 10-12 hours a day, and by the time I got back home, I didn’t feel like cooking or even getting groceries, so I would order a pizza or some other delivered food or take-out. Life felt pretty out of control.

One day (I’m not even sure what initially triggered it), I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing out some of what I called “pathetic life goals.” The reason I gave them that name was because they were goals that I felt were actually what most people (aka everyone other than me) already had in place, but I was struggling. My pathetic life goals consisted of daily activities like:

  • Have a consistent bedtime
  • Eat three meals (preferably from groceries I bought)
  • Get eight hours of sleep
  • Exercise for at least 30 minutes
  • Carve out daily time to read at least 15 minutes

I also had some weekly activities included like:

  • Buy groceries
  • Wash laundry

These weren’t big hairy audacious goals like “run a marathon” or “write a book,” but these little goals provided me with an opportunity to aspire toward a bare-minimum of activity that I felt should be normal for someone in his/her early 20s. Amazingly, within a matter of a few weeks of checking these tasks off on my daily lists, I was starting to feel more in control, and I was developing a series of healthy habits that were helping me to be more productive at work and have more energy when I got home.

Maybe you never had an experience like mine as I was starting my career, but we’ve all experienced times of uncertainty where life can feel pretty out of control. It almost feels as though everything and everyone is conspiring against us. We can choose to engage with those moments (and truthfully every moment) with one of two different mindsets or approaches. The first one is called an external locus of control. In this approach, perceive everything as being out of our control, and our only option is to just wait things out, and hope for the best, or just perpetually spin our wheels reacting to circumstances. Truthfully, there are some things out of our control. For instance, I can’t determine whether you will keep reading this post or not (though I hope you will), but I can choose to share this online anyway. A major problem arises for us when we start to think everything is out of our control.

The second approach or mindset is one of an internal locus of control. An internal locus of control helps us understand that there are a significant number of activities in our day that are in our own ability to control.

When things feel out of control, a good practice for regaining control starts with a short pause. Stop reacting for a minute or two, and think about areas of your life that you do have control over. And then, start exercising control there. There are four major areas each of us have control over, and as we begin to exercise control over these areas we and those around us can benefit from our choices.

We can choose to exercise discipline that will help remind us that not everything is out of our control, and help us strengthen our internal locus of control. Most of us, but not everyone, can do all four of these. Take a look at each one and consider how you might be able to make improvements in each area. It is really a strange phenomenon, but I’ve found that as we exercise discipline in these areas of our lives, feel more in control in general, and we feel more fulfilled and more prepared to take what the day throws at us. As an interesting side-note, these areas each seem to have a relationship with each other such that as you exercise discipline in one area, you are better able to exercise discipline in the others. Isn’t that fascinating? Also, each of these areas has an added bonus of boosting your immune system—so you are less likely to have an illness throw you for a loop as you are trying to gain control of your daily life.

Sleep—Did you know that getting eight hours of sleep a night, and establishing a consistent bedtime/wake time have been shown to boost your immune system and brain health? If you don’t have a consistent bedtime, what time could you start going to bed to insure you have eight hours of sleep each night? There’s a great book I recently read that goes into a lot of detail about the benefits of sleep. Check it out here.

Eat—The author Michael Pollan offers this simple seven word piece of advice on diet. Eat food, not a lot, mostly plants. Choosing to reduce the amount of processed food you eat, and boosting the amount of real, whole foods you eat (especially green leafy vegetables, cruciferous veggies – like broccoli and kale – and beans) help boost your diets fiber content and strengthen your immune system. Personally, I’m a big fan of whole-food plant-based (WFPB) diets, but a good start for anyone is simply to minimize the processed food you eat.

Exercise—By exercise, I’m not talking about hitting the gym for two hours a day, or training for a marathon. What I mean is this, get outside (preferably) and do something that elevates your heartrate a little bit beyond its normal levels for 30 minutes a day. For some folks this means getting out and walking for 30 minutes. For others, it might mean running, riding a bike, or doing calisthenics. If you are looking for an app to suggest workouts, check out this one called Bodyweight. The biggest challenge for most of us is turning off the tv, getting off the couch, and getting moving.

Pray/Meditate—A few weeks ago, I read a book by a guy named Daniel Levitin called Successful Aging. He covers a wide variety of subjects (interestingly, including food, exercise and sleep), and he also cites academic studies demonstrating the power of meditation and prayer on brain health. Karl Barth once said, “To clasp the hands in prayer is the beginning of an uprising against the disorder of the world.” If you are uncertain how to start in this arena, maybe start with a minute or two of gratitude for what is going right in your world right now. Maybe it is something as simple as God thank you that I have a roof over my head…food to eat…clean water to drink…my family is healthy. And if you can’t start there, maybe just take four or five deep breaths once or twice a day.

No matter where you are or what you are encountering in your world, I am confident that if you choose to exercise a little discipline in one (or all) of these areas, you will begin to feel a little more in control, and you can be better equipped to do the next right thing in service of those around you.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Reflection: REI Reminders

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

As each year comes to an end, more and more print and email correspondence starts coming from businesses and nonprofits we love. It is both understandable and expected. Whether it is a nonprofit like Nuru, Team Rubicon, International Justice Mission, or Voice Of The Martyrs reminding us to think of others beyond our immediate scope, or Target, TRX, or Amazon telling us about the latest deals to consider for end of year gift giving, I was amazed at the influx of communications. There was one organization that sent me at least five giving reminders in the last two days of the year. I get it. Every day, I find myself considering the incredible blessing that has been given to those of us who live in the United States—we hit the GPS lottery! Every day, while we are being encouraged to buy more, many of our global neighbors are struggling to address basic needs.

And into that flurry of emails and my own ponderings, REI sent me two key pieces of communication. The first was a reminder to #OptOutside on #BlackFriday. REI made the decision as a company to forego one of the most profitable days to be open for any business, Black Friday. Instead, they encouraged their employees, their customers, and their cooperative members (REI is a cooperative) to spend the day outside doing the things they love with people they love. For our part, Jamie and I relaxed in Morgantown together and went for a hike through the neighborhood with Sylvia. That’s been a part of our daily routine almost every day since she arrived, and it was our routine through the days and months that we awaited her arrival. It was relaxing, refreshing, and didn’t cost us anything but an hour or two of our time. Spending our days in this way refreshes our spirits, and it was a superior alternative to getting up early and rushing around for a deal. I love the fact that REI chose to encourage people to get outdoors, and I hope that the trend catches on.

But, REI didn’t stop there. They sent a print catalog in the mail (which of course we recycled). In that print catalog they included this poem about more. Here was a company that exists by selling products, reminding its customers on the front pages of an advertisement to not get caught up in the desire for more. As a company, they were encouraging their potential customers to pause before they purchased some new item to ask the question, “Will this aid us in doing what we love?”

I’m so thankful for the fact that REI took time to remind me during a season that is filled with spending and buying things that those things are not important.  As the poem states, more is a liar. Each year, Jamie and I take an inventory of items we have acquired and make a decision to release some of those items to bring joy to others. This year is no exception, and as we do, we have placed this poem on our fridge to keep us mindful of the fact that more is a liar.

May each of us take time to value others, savor moments, and #OptOutside more often in 2020!

Reflection: In Memory of My Uncle Kenny

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

After a long battle with a variety of physical challenges, my uncle, Kenneth Leon Williams, died on June 3, 2019 at the age of 69 in his hometown of Parkersburg, WV. He’s the one on the far right in the photo above. That’s my dad, Uncle Russell,  Uncle Bill, and Uncle Kenny from left to right–four of eight siblings in my dad’s family.

I’ll cherish a number of memories of Uncle Kenny. From when I was a kid,  I remember  him inviting me and Dad over to show off his new weed whacker shortly after its purchase. But more vividly than any other memory, I remember Uncle Kenny riding his bicycles (with a bright orange safety flag on display) over to our house for a quick visit.  He would regularly make his way through town on his bicycle for as long as he was able, and he would always make it a point to stop and visit with family as he went on his rides.

As he got older my memories of him shifted from witnessing him on his bike to witnessing him visit hospitals multiple times in Morgantown, WV,  both to fight cancer and recover from a broken neck. When I was home in Parkersburg, I would regularly see him at 19th St Church of God with my Uncle Russell and Aunt Flora. Any time I was around him, regardless of his situation, he was almost always smiling and making space for a little humor.

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L to R: My Uncle Bob (who preceded Kenny in death), Uncle Kenny, my dad, and Uncle Russell.

And, during the times I was in town and didn’t see him, I remember him phoning his brothers and joking with each of them, leaving long voice messages reasoning out every possibility of where they could be if they were unable to answer.

As I think about Kenny now in glory with His King, I’m grateful for all of the little moments of laughter he shared with family throughout his 69 years on this earth. While circumstances prevented me from joining family and friends who gathered for his funeral, I’m grateful for the fact that Uncle Kenny demonstrated joy in the simple things to everyone with whom he came in contact.

His parting is also a sober reminder to me, that our life is a vapor. May we each savor every moment we’ve been given to its fullest, and may we live our lives as a sign, a foretaste, and an instrument of a Kingdom that will have no end, where goodness, joy, and love reign, and where there will no longer be a need for tears of sadness.

Introducing #TeamWilliams’s Newest Member, Simon Charles

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

On June 5th, at 1452 EDT (2:52PM) our wonderful son, Simon Charles, entered the world wide-eyed and alert. He weighed in at a whopping nine pounds and one ounce, and was twenty-three and three quarters inches long. He is handsome, and we are completely thrilled to meet him. I feel like we have once again been sharing tears of joy and big smiles with this little miracle from the moment we first laid eyes on him.

I say miracle for a couple of reasons. Foremost in my mind is that any time we witness a new life coming into the world, there is definitely something miraculous about it. I mean, this new life has been growing for the past nine months in his mother’s womb, moving and listening, complete with hiccups and kicks. Watching a child emerge into this world is just such a joy-filled experience. We witness before us future hopes and the potential making of a better world. That’s the first reason for my use of the word miracle.

The second reason I use the word miracle is because there are no guarantees that every family will have children by natural childbirth. We have many friends (many aunts and uncles for Sylvia and Simon) who just have not been able to do so. In our case, we had a second layer of uncertainty with regard to our prospects because Jamie has had a health condition, poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), that led to an irregularity with her menstrual cycle, and also contributed to an inability to have a menstrual cycle without taking estrogen. Through a combination of prayer, exercise, healthy food choices, and rest, Jamie was able to start to have a menstrual cycle, and now, we hae been blessed to be stewards of two small miracles.

Simon has been full of energy from the moment he left the womb. His mouth quickly made its way to his mother’s breast, and he’s been quickly adjusting to this world. He’s alert and just soaking in this amazing world around him, something we all could do a little more of to be honest.

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And Jamie, she is such an incredible warrior! She went through the whole process of labor once more with this resolute focus and calm that is truly a gift to witness. I want to be as calm and focused when big challenges come my way. I know many people compare giving birth to running a marathon, but, as an outside observer who has done one and will never do the other, the consistent thread I’ve witnessed in Jamie’s life is this. Each of us are capable of far more than we realize, and as I’ve watched Jamie deliver two children and run five marathons, I’m witnessing such a beautiful strength and deep awareness emerge from within her. These last few hours watching her confidently nurse Simon, hold him, and nurture are an additional gift as we enjoy these early moments of Simon’s life together.

And as I pray for my son and his journey on this earth, I pray that God will awaken the same deep understanding of what is possible for him, and that He will guide me and Jamie with the wisdom and discipline to nurture the development of his gifts and possibilities.IMG_2689

Jamie and I are filled with gratitude for this entire journey we have together with our growing family. We are thankful for the prayers and support of so many friends—they have truly sustained us, and we know that those prayers are also a gift. May our son be blessed with a deep awareness of how loved and capable he is.UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_b564.jpg

Just like his older sister, Simon is beginning a life that, God willing, will see him grow to be a compassionate servant leader, a faithful steward of resources, and a caring and considerate follower of the way of Jesus. Over these last few months, we have been praying often for him to know God and bring glory to His name, that he would go so much farther than we have in our own faith journeys, and that others would be blessed through the life he leads.

May we each faithfully and graciously walk together in the path that Love has set before us, and may we be wise stewards of all of the wonder He has entrusted to us.

 

 

Celebrating Our Eighth Anniversary

by billy, posted in Reflection

It was a rainy day in May in the surrounding vicinity, but the skies remained clear along the lake where Jamie grew up during the hours leading up to our wedding outdoors with friends and family gathered nearby. There was a light rain earlier in the day at the lake, the kind of rain that keeps heat at bay and makes days more comfortable in the late spring and summer. I was encircled by eight close friends on a dock on the far side of the lake waiting for the signal (a text) to let us know it was time for us to board three row boats and begin to make our way across to the gathered community. We rowed across the lake with purpose and walked along the bank to take our places in front of nearly two-hundred people who are each very dear to my wife and I.

After we arrived, Jamie’s bridesmaids made their way down the aisle to each take their places, and then she came around the corner with her dad. They made their way across the grassy field to the water’s edge for the ceremony to formally begin. We joined together with our friends and family to sing a song to welcome our Creator more formally into this sacred occasion. After all, without His presence in our lives, we likely would have never met.

As I looked into her beautiful azure-blue eyes, I began to weep with joy. On this day, we committed our lives to each other, and took the next step in what has been an incredible journey together. We had an added blessing in the gift of an original song that my best friend in the whole world, Willie, wrote and sang at our wedding. The lyrics of the song have rung true every day of our marriage, and I still weep freshly every time I hear it.

 

The night of our wedding ended with us riding across the lake on a paddle boat and then walking up the bank to our car to journey back to our home in Morgantown. This going forth across the rivers and roadways was not just how we ended our evening, but also part of our continued journey.

We have been so richly blessed over the last eight years, and we are filled with joy when we think about every new day as an opportunity to grow in our understanding of what it means to be a husband and a wife, as well as an opportunity now in this newest chapter of our adventures to grow as a father and mother to our daughter Sylvia and the newest addition to our family who is due to arrive any day now. Together, with God in our midst, and with Him leading our every step, we have been able to grow in our friendships around the world, and not only cherish those friendships we have, but also make new ones along the way.

Each new day, we learn, we grow, and we strive to savor every new experience we are able to share in together. I don’t think either of us could have fathomed the path our life would take, and the adventures we would be able to share in, but we are so filled with gratitude for the life together we’ve been given. We have been richly blessed by the generosity and hospitality of our family and friends both near and far, and we are overwhelmed with joy in anticipation of what is to come, as we write the next chapters of our story together, making memories in the wake of this life of passionate pursuit of living out the words of the ancient Hebrew prophet to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God.