Author: billy

Review: The Jesuit Guide To Almost Everything by James Martin, SJ

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

A few years back, one of my coworkers at Nuru, Charles Molloy, recommended The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality For Real Life by James Martin, SJ, to me as a good book to read regarding spiritual formation. For those who know me, this has been a topic of interest for me for many years, and one in which I strive to practice what I learn with regularity. Martin has been a guest on multiple occasions to The Colbert Report when it was a show, and his book is a New York Times Bestseller.

At over 400 pages, the book can appear an intimidating tome, but once one cracks it open and begins to read, it is a very quick read. The book, in my estimation, is a bit of an anecdotal and biographical/experiential commentary and guide to a much older book, The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius. In another post, I’ve mentioned a similar book Developing Intimacy With God by Alex Aronis (which I work through at least once per year) as a great book for exploring and cultivating one’s relationship with God. I found Martin’s book to be written to make itself available to both the committed and to those who are irreligious or perhaps spiritual seekers.

The beauty of the book is in the mixture of Martin’s personal stories and examples. He writes in such a way that the text is approachable by anyone: Catholic or Protestant, deeply committed or exploring/seeking. He offers well-tested insights to making steady improvement in one’s life, and suggests that we take time to reflect on moments where we experience the presence of something beyond the ordinary in our daily existence.

I would highly recommend this book at any time, but The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything lends itself very well as a study for the Lenten season. Given that Lent is a time for letting go of or adding activities specifically to grow closer with God and identify more intimately with Jesus during his time in the wilderness, this book could be a tool to be used to accomplish both. If you do read it, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, and that it spurs you on in your own faith journey.

CTI Coach Training: Balance

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

As I continued my training, I knew that I wanted to push through to be able to complete as much of the training as possible with the amazing group of people with which I started this journey. In order to do that, I had to travel to the West Coast and conduct one part of my training at the international headquarters of Coaches Training Institute (CTI) in San Rafael, California.

Each time I have attended the trainings offered, I have been impressed with both the instructors and the people who are getting trained. These folks are facilitating so much good in the world, particularly for those in both the non-profit and for-profit arenas.

This course was almost like a new start in a new area with a whole new group of people. But, at the same time, there was something familiar about the group—aside from a couple of familiar faces who had also traveled to stay “on schedule” with their goals around Co-Active Coaching. People who came to this training were also coming from different countries and time zones, but the consistent ingredient was that each was bringing his/her whole self. I witnessed such incredible courage from a room full of relative strangers, and I found myself braver in consideration of what I wanted to do in this big world as well.

I learned a lot about myself during the course of this weekend, and it wasn’t at all what I expected. I expected to learn something about work/life balance or home/travel balance. What I gained was far different and far more of an asset. I came away from the training more deeply in tune with my role and my contributions to all of life as a leader. Not only that, but I was also equipped with skills that can help others do the same and be unleashed to go farther than they may have thought possible.

Review: Culture Care by Makoto Fujimura

by billy, posted in Review

One of my favorite quotes is from the Russian author Fyodor Doestoyevsky, “Beauty will save the world.” In Makoto Fujimura’s book Culture Care: Reconnecting With Beauty For Our Common Life, the author builds the case for why rather than culture wars, people need to be engaging in culture care and on a micro-level, soul care. Fujimura is an extremely talented artist, and I had the privilege of connecting with him briefly at a conference in Pittsburgh back in 2010.

The book opens with a story from Fujimura’s personal life. He and his wife were struggling with a limited income, and the author was waiting anxiously for his wife to come home. He was concerned about their ability to be able to pay rent for the month as well as have money for food. His wife came home with a bouquet of flowers. He barked at his wife, “How could you think of buying flowers if we can’t even eat?” Her response was etched into his life (and now subsequentially into mine), “We need to feed our souls too!”

Rather than thinking of culture as a territory to be won or lost, he suggests an alternate metaphor, a resource meant to be stewarded for the good of all. As an artist, he argues that rather than creating art merely for a transactional benefit, we should, as stewards of culture create works for the delight of the soul, the pleasure of the mind, and the refreshment of the spirit.

Similar to the Nihonga style of painting that Fujimura practices, the book itself is a combination of essays that intersect with one another and draw from one another and synthesize into a beautiful whole. The degree to which we are able to connect to beauty, Fujimura argues, is reflective of our spiritual, mental, and physical health and maturity. Or as Dallas Willard has said beauty is “goodness made manifest to the senses.”

If you are interested in stewarding culture well, I believe you will find encouragement in Makoto Fujimura’s book. Give it a read, but then don’t stop there. Become a faithful steward of beauty and culture in a world that is starving for it.

CTI Coach Training: Fulfillment

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

The second phase of my training as a Co-Active Coach commenced with a series of exercises and practices centered around fulfillment. This regimen had a mix of familiar faces along with new coaches in training who were joining in the journey. There was something really special about the group of people I was able to launch into this training with, and I was so glad to see so many of them continuing the journey and learning together.

One of the things that struck me about this group was that there were many people who had come from much longer distances to be part of this training. And, once again, the people participating in this training were coming from some top-notch roles in pretty well-known companies. I have really been impressed by the caliber and quality of leaders who have been participants in this program.

Out of this particular training, I became more deeply aware of my own unique life-purpose and the values that drive me toward achieving that purpose. Not only that, I became more aware of the resources available to me to see me (and others) through to living out the most authentic life I (and they) can possibly live.

What could be more rewarding, fulfilling, and empowering than to know what we are uniquely made for, and how we can move toward a more faithful living out of our unique calling as well as bringing a greater authenticity into all of our relationships. This training has left me wonderfully encouraged and deeply engaged to the things that matter most to me, and excited about helping others connect with those things that matter most to them as well.

May we all live faithful to the unique and diverse callings that have been given to each of us for the good of the world.

Review: The Hope Quotient by Ray Johnston

by billy, posted in Review

In early January 2017, Jamie and I had the privilege of visiting Saddleback Church for the first time with our new friend and comrade in the fight to end extreme poverty, Frank Kitonga. While we were attending, Dr. Rick Warren was not giving the message, but another pastor and good friend of his was—Ray Johnston, pastor of Bayside Church and founder of the Thrive Leadership Conference. His message was one of hope, encouragement, and the need to fan the flames of these in our lives. After the message, his book The Hope Quotient was being sold outside the church, and I thought it would be a great gift for Frank as well as an encouraging read for me and Jamie so I bought two copies.

Written in a practical and conversational tone, the book echoed much of the content of Johnston’s message at Saddleback. Each of us needs to do whatever we can to keep hopeful about our lives and futures. The book goes through several very tangible steps each one of us can take to keep our batteries charged, stay encouraged, and play to our strengths.

One of the best reminders for me in his book was the reminder for me to invest in my own growth. I really enjoy investing in the lives of others, but in order to be a better investor, and in order to ensure I have something to give, I need to invest in myself. In 2016, among many investments I made was one to pursue training and certification to become an executive coach. A second key investment was to take a legitimate vacation with Jamie and to take time away from work to celebrate and welcome Sylvia into our lives. All of us need to be mindful of the fact that we can get drained and when we are drained, we can easily become discouraged. When we become discouraged (which we all do), it is easy to be devastated by it. Hope is like fuel for overcoming that discouragement or like an antidote to the toxic and contagious nature of discouragement.

If you want to bring hope into your work, your marriage, and your life, I highly recommend reading The Hope Quotient by Ray Johnston and working to employ the ideas in his book so you are more likely to be sustained, supported, and strengthened with hope instead of being devastated by despair. May we each strive to ignite hope in our lives and the lives of those around us—we all need it, and a little hope can go a long way!

CTI Coach Training: Fundamentals

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training, Wellness

As mentioned in another recent post, I launched into formal training approximately a three years ago to be a better Leadership/Executive Coach, and it has been quite an eye-opening journey. Thanks to the hospitality of dear friends and proximity of training locations, Jamie and I were able to travel together almost all of the weekends during which I was receiving formal training. Most of my trainings were in Washington DC, and so it was just a short journey to the nation’s capital—but a winter storm caused a last minute cancelation/delay of my first training “Fundamentals” by one week.

Making the trip to DC, I really didn’t know what to expect. Would the people be like me? What would the training be like? Would I think it was a total waste of a weekend? Would it just end up being a networking type event with a bunch of superficial “business-people” from the DC area? Honestly, I was shocked, blessed, and amazed by my experiences and the group of people I walked through that first weekend with. Most of the folks from the group came from the greater DC area, but there was a guy in the group who also made the journey from Pittsburgh to “test the waters” like me. Many people were sent from some pretty well known companies to get some training to bring back into their work, and their companies paid for their training. At the same time, there were some who, like me, were treating the training as a formal investment in their own development, and worked for organizations who just did not have the budget to cover this kind of professional development.

The purpose of the program was to provide an overview and introduction to the Coaches Training Institute’s (CTI) coaching model, and start each of us with some experience coaching. I was very quickly brought to awareness of a deep authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability emanating from each person in the room. In a world filled with posturing, sound bites, and superficiality, our time together was incredibly refreshing. I have rarely witnessed a group of diverse people move toward such incredible openness and championing of one another so quickly.

While the entire weekend was pretty epic, there were three key moments for me that left me with a sense of awe. The first was this. At one point we were each asked to think of a moment when everything was “perfect” in our world, a peak moment, or some crisp memory. My memory immediately went back to mine and Jamie’s wedding day. Everything about it was so rich and so clearly imprinted on my soul. After two minutes of reflection, a volunteer was asked to share. I had been fairly quiet for most of the training up to this point, but I just had to share this beautiful moment with this group of strangers. I was given one minute to share. Then, one of the instructors thanked me, and asked my classmates if they could identify what some of my core values were. This group of people was able to utterly nail many of my core values in a one-minute period. I was in awe of how much of what I really wanted to hold as important was so easy to see. We emanate our values, and to me that was a very beautiful learning.

The second moment was during a period of coaching in which each of us identified a ‘persona’ that would fall outside of our normal personality. Then we were paired up to coach from the perspective those personalities.  My partner and I both knew very little about the people who we were ‘labeled’ with, but both of us chose to trust and go ‘all-in’ to bring out aspects of our personalities that we both admitted to silencing in our past. It was a wonderful moment.

The third moment happened on the last day of our training. We were divided into groups, and we went around in a circle identifying traits that we saw in each other over the course of the weekend. Here again, a group of strangers started identifying things about me that I had not divulged. One woman even commented that she bet I drove a car that ran on veggie-oil. Those who know me know I have been driving a hybrid for about ten years. Unbelievable!

I was richly blessed by this training, and for the understanding that was imparted to me that the things that I held as most important were readily visible to others. I often find myself questioning and second-guessing myself and wondering how faithfully I am living out my values. I sometimes wonder if my values are identifiable by others. There was something really delightful about going deeper with this cadre of amazing individuals, and the time definitely had me hooked!

Review: The Strenuous Life by Theodore Roosevelt

by billy, posted in Review

During spring 2016, I spent several weeks reading through a three-part biography of Teddy Roosevelt, and it led me want to dive into his writings even more. Among the books read was a series of essays and addresses called The Strenuous Life. The book was published before Roosevelt became President, and includes some biographical sketches of hardships he was able to overcome in his youth, and why hard work and effort are important to the development of individuals.

His opening remarks in the opening speech set the tone for the entire book.

“I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life, the life of toil and effort, of labor and strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph.”

Roosevelt’s speeches during this period, and seemingly throughout the rest of his life, centered on the importance of hard work and effort. He reminds us that our best self is not forged in the success of the endeavor, but in the hard work put in to achieve a goal, whether or not the goal is realized. In word and in deed, he exhorts us as a later generation to develop the virtues that lead to good citizenship, good neighborliness, and good character, and then to live them out. In fact, Roosevelt said, “the chief factor in any man’s success or failure must be his own character.”

As the United States approaches nearly a quarter millennium existence as a republic, I find myself stirred, spurred, and encouraged by Roosevelt’s speeches. His words remind me of my own need to put in effort daily in activities that will make me more fit emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you enjoy reading the words of leaders of America’s past, I highly recommend the thoughtful reading of this brief book of TR’s speeches.

Reflection: My Goals For 2019

by billy, posted in Fitness, People, Reflection

Last week I shared a few of my goals for 2018 and how I fared on them, so I thought it might be cool to get a few of my goals for 2019 written down as well. One marked difference for me in 2019 is that I am laying out fewer goals. I feel like my goal-setting routine and regimen is a work in progress, and I tend to think this should be the case for anyone. Hopefully, each year as we set, achieve, and/or miss goals, we are able to fine tune what a realistic forward-looking goal should be for the next 365 days. Also, I am finding that my goals tend to be an outflow of my values and what I hold as important in my life. As a result, the goals listed are starting points for me, and are not meant to be exhaustive. Also, since having Sylvia, I think I have adjusted the time horizon for my goals, or at least the outcomes of my goals. I find myself thinking about the environment I want her to have growing up. I also think about my goals not just in terms of what I want to happen right now, but also in terms of where I would like these goals to take me 20 years from now.

Here we go…

Blog again. I say this because writing two blog posts during 2018 does not really seem “active” flow. I have been continuing the practice of maintaining a journal, but it is not the same as blogging. Conservatively, I’d like to write something at least once a month. Moving from two to twelve is a pretty steep increase. Why blog? I feel like the practice of blogging and writing online is good for my soul, it helps me remember and reflect, and I hope that what I write is of some encouragement to others as well.

Practice simplicity. This practice takes many forms, but I’d like to continue the process of getting rid of clothing, books, and objects that have been collected over a lifetime. I’d like to continue efforts to lower our footprint, and make our house more of a home. Wherever we can, I’d like to continue the practice of lowering our footprint, whether that be through driving fewer miles, or lowering our use of utilities. One move we made in the past was to switch to Arcadia Power and our electric bill is now based on 100% wind energy certificates. I’d also like to maintain a practice of meditation, silence, and prayer in my mornings.

Improve my fitness/health. I’m planning to run my seventh Marine Corps Marathon this year, and for me that is a bit hard to fathom. Back in 2013, I don’t think I had ever run more than eight or nine miles at once in my entire life, but I’m living proof that a person can go from zero to marathon in about six months. In addition to running and walking, I want to take additional steps to improve my diet. I have made adjustments each year to decrease junk food intake, but Jamie and I had the privilege of taking a six week plant-based nutrition course online last year through eCornell. I learned a ton through it that has made me more thoughtful about the foods I eat, but I’d like to continue to cultivate eating more greens and getting more fiber in my diet at the very least. Being on the road, and eating many meals with groups tends to limit one’s options, but rather than giving up entirely, I’m tending to look for healthier options more often. This is still a work in progress for me though. I’m also working to incorporate more calesthenics and bodyweight training into my fitness routines. Lastly, last year Jamie and I bought “cruiser” style bicycles after having a fun time riding with Sylvia in the Netherlands. I think we’d like to get out on those bikes a couple times each week in 2019 if we can.

So, that’s a few broad buckets of goals for me for 2019. These are not necessarily starting “new” things as much as they are maintaining and improving upon cultivated habits from the past few years. Maybe as the year progresses, I’ll identify a few more specific goals and milestones to be shooting for in 2019. Honestly, I prefer specific, measurable, attainable, results oriented and timely (SMART) goals, but for now, my bigger goal is to maintain and grow in these arenas. Perhaps in a future post I’ll be sharing a few of those SMART goals in relation to what I’ve laid out above.

Do you have some goals you are working toward in 2019? May they become reality as the year progresses, and may each of us be bringing our best selves forward into each new day!

Review: Deskbound by Kelly Starrett

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

A few years ago I stumbled onto a blog that shared seven exercises to undo the damage done to one’s musculature from sitting. That blog included a recommendation of another book by Kelly Starrett called Becoming A Supple Leopard, which I quickly read and reviewed. I seriously devoured the book in a couple of days because I was so fascinated with Starrett’s findings with regard to our physiology. I also picked up a book by Dr. Starrett called Ready To Run—that book recommended some exercises and routines specific for runners to be able to run with less tendency toward injury.

In 2016, Dr. Starrett published a new book that had been highly anticipated, Deskbound: Standing Up To A Sitting World. Deskbound does not deviate from Starrett’s previous writings, but rather focuses in on what may be one of the most significant physiological contributors to poor mobility and injury today. We are a culture of sitters. We sit at work. We sit when we travel. We sit when we attend cultural events, whether sports, concerts, or movies. We sit when watching television and when grabbing a meal. We spend so much time sitting that some of our muscles are chronically tight while others are incredibly loose, and therefore incredibly weak.

The book is a combination of recommended guidelines and mobility exercises to start undoing the damage caused by a lifetime of sitting. One of my favorite aspects of each of Starrett’s books is that he gives practical suggestions and hacks for working on mobility 10-15 minutes per day. In this latest book, he takes into account that some people may be stuck in an office and has developed a “deskbound” version of some of these mobility exercises.

One of the biggest takeaways I have had since reading the book is that I am now more cognizant of (and trying to correct) my mechanics when performing certain activities. As an example, for the last few years, when possible I work from a standing desk. While the standing desk is a move in the right direction (prolonged sitting and the sedentary lifestyle are definitely terrible for us on a number of levels), Starrett’s book has made me more cognizant of my (poor) posture and I now focus energy toward correcting, strengthening, and improving mobility.

Deskbound has four main guidelines for preventing and solving problems related to sitting.

  1. Reduce optional sitting in your life. Some of us are stuck at a desk, or we are driving a bus or car for long periods. But, there are times when we have a choice. We can watch TV standing up. We can choose to have conversations with friends while walking. Just by getting up and moving, we can start undoing damage and prevent further damage.
  2. For every 30 minutes we are sitting, move for at least 2 minutes. This one is particularly helpful for me when I am away from home, and I’m sitting in a coffee shop or office space working on a project. I can get “in the zone” and sit for a long period focused on writing or working on projects on my laptop. These activities slow my circulation and I will catch myself leaning forward with hunched shoulders. Getting up for a couple of minutes every half hour helps me reset and correct. It also helps me focus too. I can jump right back into the work refreshed and energized.
  3. Prioritize position and mechanics when possible. For me, this is the big area of focus. Whether I am standing, walking, or running I try to think through how my body is stacked and if I need to make corrections to my stance. Sometimes when Jamie and I are walking she will poke her fingers into my thoracic spine if she sees me slouching. Her reminder helps me to focus and prioritize good position and mechanics.
  4. Perform 10-15 minutes of daily maintenance/mobility. This just means taking time to work through areas of tension and weakness so that physiologically the body is working better. Starrett recommends that if a person is trying to improve mobility, then a stretch or other mobility activity should be done for at least two minutes to have benefit. One of the stretches he (and I) highly recommend is the couch stretch—which does not mean laying on the couch.

I highly recommend all of Dr. Starrett’s books, but if I were choosing one based on the greatest need and area of focus for most of us, I would choose Deskbound. All of his books talk about mobility and provide helpful photos and explanations of proper positioning and exercises, but in Deskbound, Kelly takes a very close look at specific mechanical faults caused by sitting that lead us to injury in sport and in daily life and also offers a pathway to making corrections. May we each move more freely, and carve out time from behind the desk to move well!

Reflection: Looking Back At My Goals For 2018

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

Each year, as I start one year and end another, I like to take some time to look back over goals for the previous year, to reflect, and to recalibrate. In recent years, I’ve been able to track some of these goals more frequently and diligently by using a Passion Planner to as a tool to keep me on track. I’ve also been able to encourage my teammates at Nuru International to do the same.

Many of my goals could also fall into the category of habit maintenance as much as they are goals. I feel like they have evolved over the years from aspirational hopes to habits that I wish to maintain moving forward. And, as I write this, I find myself thinking about the many habits that I don’t write down in a goal format because they have just become a part of who I am.

Here’s a look at a few of those habits and goals and how I fared.

Spend time outside. For about five years now,  I’ve made it a personal goal to get outside for at least 30 minutes a day. In reality, this isn’t a lot of time, but I’ve noticed that just by spending a brief period outside I feel more grounded, more grateful, and more focused for the day ahead.

Exercise daily. This habit has taken man forms, and since 2017 I’ve had an added dimension of accountability through the acquisition of an Apple Watch. Each day, I seek to at least close my “move” ring as that indicates that I’m at least doing something active. Most days I’ve been able to get in some time walking, running, stretching, or doing a variety of bodyweight exercises. The end result is that I feel healthier than I did ten years ago.

Simplify and de-clutter. Minimalism seems to be trending these days, but Jamie and I have made it an annual tradition to habitually downsize our material possessions. From clothes and books to furniture and appliances, we make our way through our belongings each year asking questions like, “Am I going to wear this again? Will this bring someone else joy? Is this being actively used?” By asking questions like these, we have been able to say goodbye to bags of clothing and vehicles full of objects that have served their purpose well in our home, but we feel that it is time to share them and make them available to others. We usually donate items to a local thrift store in Morgantown called the Ranch Community Store.

Run the Marine Corps Marathon. Since 2013, each year we run the Marine Corps Marathon with a group of runners from around the country in support of Nuru International. This year we were able to do so with Jamie’s dad too!

Lower Our Footprint. Each year we strive to take steps to lower our footprint, and over the last few years, we have made significant investments into ways we might do so. Of course there are little things like adjusting thermostats and switching to LED lighting, but we also invested in replacing our furnace and air conditioner. When the guy from Grogg’s Heating And Air Conditioning came to the house a couple of years ago, he said my 47 year old furnace had a 40% efficiency when it was new, and my 29 year old air conditioner had a 7 SEER rating when it was new. Our replacement heat pump/furnace has a 96% efficiency and a 15 SEER rating. We have seen steady improvements in heating and cooling AND our utility bills since the switch.

Detach from devices. A few years ago, I started the habit of sleeping with my phone in a separate room to charge, and it has helped me get more restful sleep and deepen my focus. I also started practicing the discipline of not picking up my phone (or at least not looking at email, etc.) for an hour or two in the morning after I awake. This combination has also helped me to break the habit of routinely looking at my phone throughout the day when I have a free moment. The habit is still not fully broken, but I’m slowly transitioning to make sure my use of devices is actually adding value to my day, and not leaving me perpetually distracted. With a two-year-old daughter, I have a whole new reason to reduce my distractedness.

Home Improvement. This is partially tied to simplifying and lowering our footprint, but thanks to some strong support from Jamie’s mom and dad, we made some great strides in home improvement. While I was away on a trip last summer, they came up and painted our house. In addition, they helped me hang a new screen door on our house, and I was able to get our deck cleaned and sealed. Thanks to Jamie’s parent’s positive experience with replacement window installation, I also reached out to Window World to get energy efficient replacement windows for our house.

Blog Consistently. In 2018, I hardly posted any blogs, but I have aspirations to change that in 2019. This post is one more step in that direction. I’m hoping to re-establish this habit in 2019.

Practice sabbath, solitude, silence, and meditation. At one time, these disciplines were a steady part of my weekly rhythm, but in recent years I have struggled to maintain them. While I did not develop a robust practice of sabbath during 2018, I was able to inject a rhythm of silence and meditation into my mornings, at least during the days we were home.

Pursue a blue belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu with my family.  This one has been an aspiration since Sylvia was born. Through Gracie University I had hoped to get our whole family practicing jiu jitsu when we were home, but in 2018 it just didn’t happen. I have hopes for the future, but rather than re-commit to this goal, I think I’m going to focus on other forms of fitness for the time being.

While I didn’t “nail” every goal or cultivate every habit I had in mind at the start of 2018, and at various points during the year I felt like I was spinning my wheels and getting nowhere, looking back over the year I feel proud of the progress I made in the areas listed above, and areas not listed as well. I’m hopeful that 2019 will be a year of continued progress, forward movement, and learning. May it be the same for you as well!