Author: billy

Reflection and Review: Forty Chances by Howard G. Buffett

by billy, posted in Reflection, Review

It was in fall 2013 that I first picked up a copy of Howard G. Buffett’s book 40 Chances: Finding Hope In A Hungry World, and I had meant to both read the book and write a review within days of the book’s release. I had accomplished half of the goal; I had read it quickly, but I was not able to write a review. I had hoped to write the review partially because in the last section of the book, Mr. Buffett dedicates 2-3 pages to the story of Nuru International and Jake Harriman. Given that I’ve known Jake and his family for more than half of my life, and that he and I have been passionately working together to address extreme poverty from Nuru’s beginnings, I wanted to read and share this book with others.

But, as often happens with many of us, time got the best of me. I finished reading the book, and then I was recovering from running the Marine Corps Marathon as well as stepping up my travel for Nuru. But, four years later, I still want to share this book with others. The reason why I wanted to share goes beyond Mr. Buffett’s stories of impact in his own work to address global hunger specifically, or even as a result of him giving mention to Nuru and Jake among many organizations that are doing great work. Mr. Buffett’s life has been an interesting one. He is a farmer, photographer, and philanthropist, and he has been able to experience and document some incredible experiences in this book.

But, I wanted to write this review because of the title of the book, 40 Chances. The idea comes from a lesson Mr. Buffett learned about farming when he was younger. He says that an average farmer has about 40 chances, or 40 growing seasons, to improve on their farming and harvests in their lifetime. He makes the connection to his own work in addressing hunger, but the metaphor lends itself well to every arena.

In the book of Psalms, Moses implores God, Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom. I believe 40 Chances, as much as it is a series of 40 stories of hope and lessons with regard to addressing hunger, for me it is a reminder that we each have limited time on this earth, and we should make the most of it.  Maybe I’ll live longer and be able to use more than 40 years to make a contribution in the world; maybe it will be less. Regardless, it behooves me to live each of my days ensuring that I am aligned with my purpose and that I am taking ground, moving forward and improving with the limited time I have. And that’s true for all of us.

So, I do recommend giving 40 Chances a read, and taking time to consider what you might be able to do to address the food insecurity and hunger that one out of five of our global neighbors confronts as a daily reality, and further, I encourage you to give consideration as to how you will use your own 40 chances to make a contribution to a better world for the next generation.

Review: Teach Us To Want by Jen Pollock Michel

by billy, posted in Review

Jen Pollock Michel’s book Teach Us To Want: Longing, Ambition, And The Life Of Faith received Christianity Today’s Book Of The Year Award in 2015, and that fact alone led to me deciding to give it a read. I always enjoy a thoughtful book, and at times it is helpful when others have already indicated a text is worth the read.

Teach Us To Want is definitely a thoughtful book. Based on my reading, Jen Pollock Michel has herself read broadly, and she weaves themes from several classic works into her own narrative. The book is anecdotal, personal, vulnerable, and very thoughtful with regard to the internal wrestling that a person of faith encounters with regard to discerning which desires emanate from within and which are God-given directive or calling. Jen, through her own story shares very candidly both the good and the bad sides of desire, and how it can be either destructive or redemptive depending on the source.

In the early chapters of the book, she alludes to one of my personal favorite authors, and one who I believe had a significant influence on the rhythm of the book, Annie Dillard. Dillard’s book Pilgrim At Tinker Creek is a book about faith, environment, place, and time. Pollock Michel’s book extends along a much longer duration than Dillard’s single year, and also extends across a variety of places, but, she builds a framework for exploring desire from both the via positiva and the via negative.

To be honest, when I first started the book, I wasn’t sure how much I would enjoy it, but it is incredibly well written, and I found myself looking forward to each new area of content. In particular, I really appreciated her chapter on prayer and its focus on how God’s willingness to provide as well as his encouragement for us to ask.

Looking for a thoughtful, vulnerable narrative to explore? Give Jen Pollock Michel’s book a read, and consider more deeply what it means to call out to the Creator of the universe with all of our wants.

Reflection: Time, Our Most Valuable Resource

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

Over the last couple of years, I’ve witnessed the untimely death of long-time friends as well as major health crises that could have resulted in the loss of others. It’s had me considering more and more the value of time, and the importance of cherishing our days. An ancient songwriter wrote a prayer that we would learn to number our days and in doing so acquire a heart of wisdom. For Judeo-Christian cultures it is intriguing the importance that is placed on articles like the ten commandments, and yet we often neglect the practice of Sabbath and rest—which is a way of honoring the time given to each of us and creating space for a reminder that our identity is not in what we do, but who we are.

Our life is truly a vapor. During the summer of 2016, two of my life-long friends had heart attacks. One of them died, and the other survived because he was in close proximity to a hospital. One was 55 and the other was 42. It is sobering to visit a casket or a hospital and look at a peer, and think, “That could very easily have been me.”

I realize this post could seem a bit morbid, but I don’t mean it to be. Rather, I am writing just thinking about how we are often very mindful of how we steward our money or other resources that are limited, but we do not give the same consideration of time. We think we have an endless supply, but it is truly a limited resource. Just a few weeks ago, I was talking over dinner, with a good friend who is also a software developer, and Nuru supporter. He was talking about this very concept—how time is our most precious resource and how none of us know how much we have—and so we need to be mindful of how we spend each day.

As we continued talking, I asked my friend more about his daily and weekly rhythms. I consider him one of the wisest people I know, and he walked through the intentionality of each of his days and weeks. He has committed much of his time to teaching and educating others, but he also has built into his rhythm a space for writing, for reflection, and for prayer and quality time with his family. He and his wife go for daily walks together as the evening arrives as both a time of connection and a time of being physically active. As we talked, I was deeply encouraged that Jamie and I have developed very similar rhythms. (Although, we haven’t developed a time of family prayer formally yet).

Today, may we all more deeply savor, enjoy, and steward the precious gift of time we have been given. Every moment is precious and unique. Today is a gift—let’s never squander the opportunity we have been given to bring our all into each moment, and, as we are able, may we each work toward ensuring that the quality of our days all it can be through making wise choices with them. We are not in control of the quantity. As the author Annie Dillard once said, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives,” so let each one of us spend wisely. What how will you treasure, cherish, and spend your time?

Review: Preparing For Heaven by Gary Black, Jr.

by billy, posted in Review

Gary Black, Jr. spent significant time with an individual who has had a profound impact on my life and my own spiritual formation, Dallas Willard. In Preparing For Heaven: What Dallas Willard Taught Me About Living, Dying, And Eternal Life, Black honors Dr. Willard’s request for someone to bring to print his thoughts around death and the life to come. While this may seem a morbid subject to some, it is actually quite a hopeful book.

I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to be Gary Black watching as Dallas passed from this world into eternity, but I have witnessed the passing of two other beautiful souls into eternity, my mother, and the former principal chief of my tribe. Both demonstrated what Willard described a “radiant life and a radiant death.”

The book is divided into two parts. The first is dedicated to the problem or as Black states, “What We Misunderstand About Heaven,” and the second is dedicated to the solution, “Heaven At Hand.” I believe the real power of this book is found in the solution. There are a number of reasons why the problem exists, but Black and Willard argue for a different way of living—not so much in the realm of behavior modification, but in pursuing by indirect means a shaping of our lives so that we can do what we cannot naturally do by direct effort.

Black’s book blends his own faith journey with the lessons he learned from Willard and provides much food for thought with regard to living in the reality of eternity. If you are interested in the subjects of spiritual formation or curious with regard to Dallas Willard’s life and his transition into eternity, I think you will richly enjoy Gary Black’s text.

My Coaching Company: Archegos, LLC

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

A few years ago, I began formal education and training to become a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach. After five years of benefitting from a leadership/executive coach with the same training and after multiple discussions with Jamie as well as a few close friends around the possibility of developing and refining this skill, I decided to invest in formal training. As part of my training and certification program, I was required to develop a roster of at least five paying clients, and so I figured I would formalize the process a bit by establishing a business. I talked to a few friends about how to go about doing something like this, and they counseled me through the steps. I also had the privilege of having nine clients sign on for my services as I was going through my own certification.

It has been an incredible learning process, with me learning everything from how to establish an LLC to what steps are necessary to open a business banking account. I chose the name Archegos after learning this Greek word from a friend. It means the chief leader, the author, one who takes the lead in anything, and thus affords an example, a pioneer. In the Bible, it is used to describe Jesus. As I thought about starting a coaching company to help others bring their very best into both work and life, it seemed appropriate to give it a name that incorporated my own love for writing and creating, my faith, and my own curiosity and desire to explore.

Over the last few years I have developed a solid roster of clients. These men and women come from a wide array of backgrounds. I’ve been privileged to coach individuals from the healthcare industry, as well as finance, technology, banking, and ministry and enable them to bring forth their very best to the world around them. I have been blessed so much by my clients, and as 2016 ended, they each took time to thank me for the transformative steps I helped them take in deepening learning and forwarding action in their lives. I’m so proud of all I witnessed them accomplish—from transitioning to a new job, to completing CPA and CFP accreditations, from addressing relationships with others to identifying and silencing their own inner critics, they have each taken incredible steps in leadership and life.

Currently, my client roster is full, but there may be an opening or two in the summer or fall of 2019. If you are interested in working with a formally credentialed coach, contact me now and we can see if it might make sense to work together toward your goals. If I am not available, or it doesn’t seem to make sense to work together, I can very likely point you to another coach or two that I trust as well.

Regardless, I’m excited for all of the learning that has come from launching this new means of serving others, and for all of the people who have believed in me, encouraged me, and spurred me onward to work to make a difference in this world. May we each develop and cultivate our gifts, skills, and talents for the good of others in this world of wonder.

by billy, posted in Review

I’m not sure where I first stumbled on You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power Of Habit by James K. A. Smith, but I am so grateful that I did. The book takes a very different angle than what is commonly considered as the path to becoming a more deeply devoted person of faith, and Smith’s writing style is both witty and profound. Think about the title for a moment. You are what you love…what you are giving your heart and your energy toward is shaping the kind of person you are. The habits you are cultivating, and your daily and weekly practices and rhythms are shaping what is most important to you and what kind of person you are becoming.

At its foundation, the book argues that the rhythms of our entire life are comprised of a variety of habits that shape our hearts, what we desire, and how we find and nurture fulfillment. Smith also presents in his text how information by itself does not do much to shape our hearts, our habits, and our worship. He cites numerous examples including that of the modern faith experience. It is not enough to educate or invest resources, but instead, if we want to display a different kind of life or love (whether love of God or love of others), then we need to develop habits that cultivate that love.

Smith argues that to worship is human—it is part of how and why we were made, but when the object of our worship goes awry, it is damaging to us as well as to the world around us. When we misunderstand the telos or goal for our lives or what constitutes “the good life” we can find ourselves in pursuit of any number of activities or outcomes, and there are a wide variety of industries spending incredible amounts of resources to convince us what the good life is comprised of—anything from the food and beverage we drink, the vehicle we drive, or the medicine we take all promise us the good life, and at the same time, they all fall short on delivering on that promise in the long-term.

If we are what we love, and love is a habit, then it is fundamentally important to learn what it is we truly love, what we were made for, and develop habits that help undo the false promises of ‘the good life’ that tend to lead us at best toward temporary pleasure and at length toward a severely misdirected goal. I believe that in moments of quiet when we turn off our devices, and the constant stream of messages that bombard us, we are able to, at least for a moment, acknowledge the pull these messages have on us, and see an alternate route toward ‘the good life’ and an ultimate goal for the limited window of time we have on this earth.

Although it has been several weeks since I read Smith’s book, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I had the added bonus of having Jamie read through it with me so we could discuss it and identify habits that can lead us away from our first love as well as begin to cultivate habits that will re-shape us to grow in our love for God and others. If you are looking for a book to explore the spiritual dimension of the power of habit and how habits are formed, rooted, and re-shaped, then You Are What You Love is a great book to pick up. It is my hope that Jamie and I will be able to apply the lessons of the book in a way that not only shapes our hearts to love what is good and honorable, but that we will be able to help Sylvia cultivate a healthy love for the same.

CTI Certification

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

After a series of trainings on the Co-Active Model, I decided to take the next step of formal certification to be a Co-Active Coach and help others to live more authentic and enriching lives. I launched into this process last summer, and as part of the process I had to acquire a roster of at paid clients. This led me to formally establish a business centered on coaching called Archegos. I’ll be sharing more about Archegos soon, don’t worry!

In the meantime, I wanted to share a reflection and some of the personal learning and growth I’ve experienced as I ventured through this process. The entire process ended with both written and oral exams, and so it wasn’t a given that if I just signed up that I would end with a certification credential.

As much as I had learned in the earlier trainings with Coaches Training Institute (CTI), this certification program showed me just how much more I had to learn, and illuminated the fact that I don’t have to have it ALL figured out because I’ll be learning my whole life. In addition, it showed me just how much progress can come from spending the time learning, being, and doing.

This certification process commenced a very busy time for me, and required much more from me than I had originally considered. The requirements of the program demanded 10-15 hours each week over a six-month period, and included readings, recordings, group instruction, personal supervision, and over one hundred hours of coaching with clients. By itself, the program was a tall order.

But that wasn’t all that was going on in my world. In addition to my normal ‘routine’ of fighting extreme poverty together with Jamie, I was also moving forward on a few other projects. I started a coaching business. I began a program at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government. I trained to run my fourth Marine Corps Marathon. I remained actively engaged in my faith community. I mourned the loss of one of my previous mentors from my own tribal community. I supported Jamie and her family as they mourned the loss of one of her uncles. I learned how to swim freestyle. And, most importantly I walked alongside Jamie as her pregnancy came full term and I became a dad!!!

It’s a bit ironic when I think about it all. Had I given myself time to think about all that was going to be happening at that time, I might not have taken on the certification process. And, the irony of that is this…by walking through certification, I was not only moving toward the completion of formal training and skill-building to become a Co-Active Coach, but I was also being equipped with the skills I needed to be fully ‘in the moment’ for each of these major events. Not only was I facilitating the growth of a full roster of diverse clients, but I was also able to tap into why everything I was doing was important, and prioritize and execute through a very full season.

The training and certification program that CTI has put together provided me far more than I anticipated, and even if I chose to never coach another individual again (highly unlikely), I experienced so much personal growth that it was fully worthwhile. The skills and resources I have acquired access to are now flowing into my work at Nuru, my relationships with others (including Sylvia), and my own spiritual growth and development. I feel more fully alive and attuned to the good that I can bring into this world, and I hope that others who complete the journey experience something similar. May we all be more deeply awakened to our giftings and may we offer them for the good of others in this beautiful world!

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

A number one New York Times Best-Seller, Jamie and I had skimmed portions of this book on many visits to Barnes and Noble before we took the plunge and decided to purchase it. In her book, the life changing magic of tidying up: the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by marie kondo, she lays out a methodology as well as builds a case for the necessity of decluttering our homes through pursuing simplicity in our spaces. She also has a series on Netflix right now…

Each year, Jamie and I make a concerted effort toward pursuing simplicity, and it always seems like a steady journey more than a final destination. My hunch is that this is true for most folks who pursue simplicity. One does not necessarily “arrive” as much as one deploys tools and activities to cultivate simplicity. Kondo’s book is one such tool.

If you desire greater simplicity in your home, feel like your space is becoming cluttered and chaotic, or simply want to have a framework for getting rid of and organizing your things, then definitely pick up a copy of this book.

The book contains a series of what feel like gigantic steps that can be taken to eliminate clutter. I say they feel gigantic, because the activities confront us with just how much stuff many of us tuck away into various receptacles. Her starting point for tidying up is found in our wardrobes, and her challenge is this. Take EVERY item of clothing you own, and dump it on the floor in one space. In this one act, Jamie and I were confronted pretty powerfully with the incredible amount of t-shirts and other clothing we have amassed at conferences and events over the years as well as just how much we tuck away, awaiting for the “right” occasion to wear something that just isn’t worn out yet. Kondo’s approach to clothing is one of shock and awe. First, there is a shock to seeing the sheer volume of clothing we have. And then comes the awe. She says that we should only keep items of clothing that evoke joy when we wear them. If we don’t wear them, or if they do not evoke joy when we wear them, it’s time for them to go.

Kondo goes systematically through every major area of the home including (gulp!) books with a similar methodology. For me, her book was a catalyst to take a hard look at my book collection and evaluate texts based on the joy they evoked. My temptation has always been to hold on to books in the event that I might want to share a reference in a talk I give or in something I write. As I took a look at my collection of books, I realized that many were highly unlikely to be read again, and while I found most of the books I have read to be beneficial and shaping, that benefit and shaping has largely already taken place with most of those books. And so, I have said goodbye or I have books in a staging area preparing for their farewell before they delight a new reader, as a result of this book.

Looking for a kick-start to decluttering your home and life, look no further than this book. If you have attempted and failed in the past, you may have a kindred spirit in the author. She also attempted many other paths to decluttering her life before she landed on this one, and she deploys it with others on a regular basis now. Her book is a gift to us if we are looking for ways to bring greater simplicity and less clutter into our lives.

CTI Coach Training: Synergy

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

This training marked the completion of the intermediate training for myself, and for the individuals who had started this regimen with me.  It was a turning point and a graduation of sorts. We had been part of several deep-dive trainings to move into a new arena of self-awareness as well as a new arena of evoking transformation in others. It was a very special moment.

The weekend was a bringing together of all that we had been learning, and for me, it was filled with additional deeper awakening moments. I had recently completed the process of establishing Archegos, and had begun to plot out the path toward a new chapter in my life with this new array of tools to unleash the potential in others.

The two biggest moments for me were centered around a meal and a morning run. One of my fellow Co-Active coaches-in-training had discovered an amazing Italian restaurant near our training facility and had invited all of us to enjoy a meal together to celebrate the milestone we had achieved together. When we gathered together, she leaned over to me and asked me to give some remarks to mark this moment and help us all to acknowledge and celebrate. I was reticent to speak, and I really felt overcome with doubts that I had anything to offer—I was in a room filled with incredible human beings who were not only overcoming and moving forward in their own lives in rich ways, but also charting a path to help others do the same. I deflected the opportunity, and then my classmate told me it would really mean a lot to her personally if I would share. I thought the world of this lady, and in that moment I realized that my life is not about me, but about what I am able to do for others for whom I deeply care. This lady is an incredibly gifted leader, and she had given me a two-fold gift by inviting me to give remarks and by reminding me that my remarks were less about ‘drawing attention to myself’ and more about drawing attention to how I could best serve others in drawing attention to the significance of the moment. I pray I never forget that lesson.

The second lesson for me as we practiced bringing it all together occurred during a morning run through DC with Jamie. I started thinking about all that might be possible with this whole coaching endeavor. I started thinking about the life that I might possibly be inviting current (and potentially future) children into. I started thinking about just how much this training I had received might mean for the end of extreme poverty and the ground that might be taken in eradicating other social ills (human trafficking, slavery, etc.). I shared this vision with my colleagues, and as I shared, the possibilities became more real. I am excited for the possible vision God has given me for how I can be a sign, a foretaste, and an instrument of His Kingdom come and as well as a vision of a more beautiful world for all.

When I think about all that happened with this small community of determined and courageous leaders, my heart overflows with gratitude. I’m grateful for the journey together, and I’m grateful for the skills and talents each of us discovered in that journey. At the same time, I have an expectant excitement when I think about what each of us has the opportunity to unleash in others as we move forward on our journey as coaches helping others to move forward in the battlefields of their lives.

CTI Coach Training: Process

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

My continued formal training to become a leadership/executive coach with the Co-Active Model brought me back to DC for this next stage of my development. It was a mini-reunion with many of the amazing people I had started this journey with, and an introduction to some new wonderful people who were on a similar journey. So much had changed in my life since the last time I had seen this group—a group that, although we were strangers a few weeks before, seemed like a community of life-long friends that were just enjoying a few days of deep and meaningful conversations, like all life-long friends do when they are able to spend time together.

I came into this training with the knowledge that I was going to be a father, and with a recent trip to visit Nuru’s growing work in developing servant leaders in Ethiopia. I had also visited Muir Woods during a recent visit to northern California and my mind was literally swirling with all of these experiences. During the weekend of training, I also slipped out for an early morning workout in the rain on Theodore Roosevelt Island. That morning workout with Teddy looking down at me helped ground me for making space for what was to come as well.

During the course of this particular weekend, another of the dear friends I had made along this journey helped me to (re)discover the joy of the present moment. I had been on the go so much, that as much as I like to think I take time to enjoy the moments as they are happening, I was not as fully present to all of the experiences that were before me because I was so focused on what was next.

How many moments have each of us missed out on because we were not “fully there” or in some form disengaged? How many times in our life have we stuffed away our emotions to move on to the next thing? What would happen if we allowed ourselves, and one-another to have the permission to engage with what was happening in the moment? I believe that a number of problems we see and experience might become less significant.

Since the time of my training, I have been incredibly grateful for the skills to not only be aware of the present for myself, but also witness the unleashing that has happened for several of my clients along the way. After completing this training, each of us students were given the opportunity (if we wanted) to register for a formal certification program with Coaches Training Institute (CTI) to become a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach. The program is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF), which is the governing accreditation body for professional coaches. As a preliminary preparation for my certification, I set up my first business, and began preparation for coaching individuals in a wide-array of career disciplines.