Remembering Jeff Giosi And Reflecting On Mortality
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom
~Ancient Hebrew Prophet
Memento mori. (Remember that you must die.)
~Ancient Roman/Latin Proverb
“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”
~Tecumseh, historic Shawnee leader
A little over a week ago, I learned that another friend of mine had died. The last five years of my life, it seems like I have witnessed a steady stream of friends near my age meeting with death at an earlier time than I would have ever anticipated; I don’t think I’m that old, but at the same time, I’m not a “spring chicken” either. Jeff Giosi is the latest one of these, and in many ways the most shocking to me and to all who knew him. As I write these words, like many others who have been writing and sharing online over the past week, I feel like the words fall short of all that is running through my mind.
I’ve known Jeff for over fifteen years. We served in the same faith communities, and we also shared many friends in other arenas, including several individuals who are from the athletic community in and around West Virginia University. In 2007, we even played on the same community league basketball team together. For anyone who knew Jeff, you know basketball was not his strongest suit, and you also know that we definitely had more fun on our team than any other in the league.
Jeff leading community league teammates through a pre-game warm up in 2007
The last two times I saw Jeff were at the local pool. He and I both were striving to learn how to swim and improve our technique, but for slightly different reasons. Both of us were trying to master a new skill, but for Jeff, he was mastering it as he prepared to compete at an elite level in a fitness competition this past summer.
Jeff is one of the strongest and most disciplined human beings I have ever known. He came to West Virginia University and Morgantown as a decathlete. He then moved on to serve as a strength and conditioning coach on multiple WVU athletic teams, and at the time of his death, he was leading a local CrossFit community and helping hundreds of other people in the community find a renewed sense of health, fitness, and self-discipline through exercise.
When I think about Jeff, I think of him of someone who gives 100% in everything he puts his mind to. He gives 100% to his faith, his family, his friendships, and his fitness. I see images of him in my mind striving to be his best and bring out the best in others. His life serves as an example of a heroic life lived as a warrior seeking the good of all.
I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by a community of incredibly disciplined people who, when I look to my right or left, remind me to keep pushing to be the best version of myself. One of Jeff’s additional strengths in this regard is that he seemed to be able to draw that kind of discipline out of others. Much like sculptors or painters who can envision the finished work of art as they paint and chisel away, Jeff seemed to have an innate sense of the potential of those around him, and he constantly challenged them to realize it.
Jeff chose to believe in many of those around him even when they didn’t believe in their own selves. That was one of Jeff’s amazing gifts to this world. Just imagine what the world would be like, or even your own life, if you chose to believe that you could be better than you are right now, and you began to work for it.
At 40, Jeff was young when he died, and his death has left thousands of people shocked. He was incredibly fit and healthy, at least by all appearances. But he also had a genetic weakness in the form of a weakened aorta that led to an aortal aneurysm. He knew about this weakened aorta—it was with him at birth. His entire life, he lived with the knowledge that death could come for him at any moment through an aortic aneurysm, that his death could very likely come abruptly in this form. His wife and family also knew. He died while exercising with his CrossFit community, and died in the midst of his daily regimen to make himself and those around him better.
While the first thing that comes to mind for most people is Jeff’s pursuit in the realm of fitness, he just lived all of his life with an intensity that is rare. If you were privileged to spend time with him, he thought deeply about life, he laughed heartily and reflected a life lived with a deep and abiding joy. If you knew him, you knew he was also one of your biggest fans. He believed in the possibility and potential living inside each and every person he met, and he longed to help others live a fuller life even as he strived to do the same.
He was fond of the latin phrase, Memento mori, “Remember your death” and he had even talked about this on a podcast (take a minute and give it a listen) approximately one year before he died. The world lost an incredible warrior and champion for good in Jeff Giosi. He lived as an example, to me and to a number of others, of what it looks like to live one’s life mindful of one’s mortality, and striving to bring out the best in one’s own self and in others.
Jeff is survived by his wife and two kids. Unfortunately, in the midst of all of the good Jeff was doing, he did not have life insurance in place for his family. A group of family friends have organized a Go Fund Me page for Jeff’s wife and kids. If you have the capacity to give in support of his wife Sarah and sons Arlen and Mackie, I have every confidence that these funds will be stewarded well, and would encourage you to give.
As I think about the events of the last few days, this statement from an ancient Christian writer, comes to mind. Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. I’ve probably been meditating on phrases like this more over the last five years than during my entire life. I don’t want to seem morbid in doing so. For me, contemplating my own mortality drives me to think about how I want to spend each day, not knowing if it is my last. I believe that when I do so, it helps me be more mindful of the impact and legacy I want to have when I’ve breathed my last breath.
For each of us, I believe there is a strength to be found in contemplating our own mortality. It helps us clarify a few things. How do I want to live? What do I want to be remembered for? What good can I be doing today? How can I best love and care for the person or people who are around me right now? How do I best care for my spouse and children? How do I best care for my co-workers and neighbors? What is the most loving thing I can do today for my friends? Where can I help and contribute to a better world? What can I do today in pursuit of becoming the best version of myself?
Around four years ago, Jamie and I found out we were going to have a child. Around two years ago, we found out we were going to have a second child. It led me to begin thinking about my own life on a longer horizon. None of us know how much time we have left on this earth. At the same time, I want to plan as though I could be here for a long time, and build habits that will help me be healthier and stronger than I would be otherwise in the future. There’s nothing to be lost in doing this. Just like Jeff pursued excellence every day, not knowing how long he had left, he did it with the vision of the kind of life he wanted to be living when his boys (who are roughly the same ages as my children) had grown to be adults. I think each of us should live daily mindful of the present and also looking ahead at two horizons, one that stretches to the end of our life, and the second horizon looking beyond this life.
What is it that you want to be true of your life today? What do you want to be true 30 years from now? What do you want to be your legacy? May we all live our lives mindful of the limited time we have to live in this life, and live it in pursuit of the best version of ourselves with a view to what we can do in service of others whether that be our family, our community, or the world at large.