Month: February 2019

CTI Coach Training: Process

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

My continued formal training to become a leadership/executive coach with the Co-Active Model brought me back to DC for this next stage of my development. It was a mini-reunion with many of the amazing people I had started this journey with, and an introduction to some new wonderful people who were on a similar journey. So much had changed in my life since the last time I had seen this group—a group that, although we were strangers a few weeks before, seemed like a community of life-long friends that were just enjoying a few days of deep and meaningful conversations, like all life-long friends do when they are able to spend time together.

I came into this training with the knowledge that I was going to be a father, and with a recent trip to visit Nuru’s growing work in developing servant leaders in Ethiopia. I had also visited Muir Woods during a recent visit to northern California and my mind was literally swirling with all of these experiences. During the weekend of training, I also slipped out for an early morning workout in the rain on Theodore Roosevelt Island. That morning workout with Teddy looking down at me helped ground me for making space for what was to come as well.

During the course of this particular weekend, another of the dear friends I had made along this journey helped me to (re)discover the joy of the present moment. I had been on the go so much, that as much as I like to think I take time to enjoy the moments as they are happening, I was not as fully present to all of the experiences that were before me because I was so focused on what was next.

How many moments have each of us missed out on because we were not “fully there” or in some form disengaged? How many times in our life have we stuffed away our emotions to move on to the next thing? What would happen if we allowed ourselves, and one-another to have the permission to engage with what was happening in the moment? I believe that a number of problems we see and experience might become less significant.

Since the time of my training, I have been incredibly grateful for the skills to not only be aware of the present for myself, but also witness the unleashing that has happened for several of my clients along the way. After completing this training, each of us students were given the opportunity (if we wanted) to register for a formal certification program with Coaches Training Institute (CTI) to become a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach. The program is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF), which is the governing accreditation body for professional coaches. As a preliminary preparation for my certification, I set up my first business, and began preparation for coaching individuals in a wide-array of career disciplines.

Review: The Jesuit Guide To Almost Everything by James Martin, SJ

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

A few years back, one of my coworkers at Nuru, Charles Molloy, recommended The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality For Real Life by James Martin, SJ, to me as a good book to read regarding spiritual formation. For those who know me, this has been a topic of interest for me for many years, and one in which I strive to practice what I learn with regularity. Martin has been a guest on multiple occasions to The Colbert Report when it was a show, and his book is a New York Times Bestseller.

At over 400 pages, the book can appear an intimidating tome, but once one cracks it open and begins to read, it is a very quick read. The book, in my estimation, is a bit of an anecdotal and biographical/experiential commentary and guide to a much older book, The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius. In another post, I’ve mentioned a similar book Developing Intimacy With God by Alex Aronis (which I work through at least once per year) as a great book for exploring and cultivating one’s relationship with God. I found Martin’s book to be written to make itself available to both the committed and to those who are irreligious or perhaps spiritual seekers.

The beauty of the book is in the mixture of Martin’s personal stories and examples. He writes in such a way that the text is approachable by anyone: Catholic or Protestant, deeply committed or exploring/seeking. He offers well-tested insights to making steady improvement in one’s life, and suggests that we take time to reflect on moments where we experience the presence of something beyond the ordinary in our daily existence.

I would highly recommend this book at any time, but The Jesuit Guide To (Almost) Everything lends itself very well as a study for the Lenten season. Given that Lent is a time for letting go of or adding activities specifically to grow closer with God and identify more intimately with Jesus during his time in the wilderness, this book could be a tool to be used to accomplish both. If you do read it, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, and that it spurs you on in your own faith journey.

CTI Coach Training: Balance

by billy, posted in Uncategorized

As I continued my training, I knew that I wanted to push through to be able to complete as much of the training as possible with the amazing group of people with which I started this journey. In order to do that, I had to travel to the West Coast and conduct one part of my training at the international headquarters of Coaches Training Institute (CTI) in San Rafael, California.

Each time I have attended the trainings offered, I have been impressed with both the instructors and the people who are getting trained. These folks are facilitating so much good in the world, particularly for those in both the non-profit and for-profit arenas.

This course was almost like a new start in a new area with a whole new group of people. But, at the same time, there was something familiar about the group—aside from a couple of familiar faces who had also traveled to stay “on schedule” with their goals around Co-Active Coaching. People who came to this training were also coming from different countries and time zones, but the consistent ingredient was that each was bringing his/her whole self. I witnessed such incredible courage from a room full of relative strangers, and I found myself braver in consideration of what I wanted to do in this big world as well.

I learned a lot about myself during the course of this weekend, and it wasn’t at all what I expected. I expected to learn something about work/life balance or home/travel balance. What I gained was far different and far more of an asset. I came away from the training more deeply in tune with my role and my contributions to all of life as a leader. Not only that, but I was also equipped with skills that can help others do the same and be unleashed to go farther than they may have thought possible.

Review: Culture Care by Makoto Fujimura

by billy, posted in Review

One of my favorite quotes is from the Russian author Fyodor Doestoyevsky, “Beauty will save the world.” In Makoto Fujimura’s book Culture Care: Reconnecting With Beauty For Our Common Life, the author builds the case for why rather than culture wars, people need to be engaging in culture care and on a micro-level, soul care. Fujimura is an extremely talented artist, and I had the privilege of connecting with him briefly at a conference in Pittsburgh back in 2010.

The book opens with a story from Fujimura’s personal life. He and his wife were struggling with a limited income, and the author was waiting anxiously for his wife to come home. He was concerned about their ability to be able to pay rent for the month as well as have money for food. His wife came home with a bouquet of flowers. He barked at his wife, “How could you think of buying flowers if we can’t even eat?” Her response was etched into his life (and now subsequentially into mine), “We need to feed our souls too!”

Rather than thinking of culture as a territory to be won or lost, he suggests an alternate metaphor, a resource meant to be stewarded for the good of all. As an artist, he argues that rather than creating art merely for a transactional benefit, we should, as stewards of culture create works for the delight of the soul, the pleasure of the mind, and the refreshment of the spirit.

Similar to the Nihonga style of painting that Fujimura practices, the book itself is a combination of essays that intersect with one another and draw from one another and synthesize into a beautiful whole. The degree to which we are able to connect to beauty, Fujimura argues, is reflective of our spiritual, mental, and physical health and maturity. Or as Dallas Willard has said beauty is “goodness made manifest to the senses.”

If you are interested in stewarding culture well, I believe you will find encouragement in Makoto Fujimura’s book. Give it a read, but then don’t stop there. Become a faithful steward of beauty and culture in a world that is starving for it.

CTI Coach Training: Fulfillment

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training

The second phase of my training as a Co-Active Coach commenced with a series of exercises and practices centered around fulfillment. This regimen had a mix of familiar faces along with new coaches in training who were joining in the journey. There was something really special about the group of people I was able to launch into this training with, and I was so glad to see so many of them continuing the journey and learning together.

One of the things that struck me about this group was that there were many people who had come from much longer distances to be part of this training. And, once again, the people participating in this training were coming from some top-notch roles in pretty well-known companies. I have really been impressed by the caliber and quality of leaders who have been participants in this program.

Out of this particular training, I became more deeply aware of my own unique life-purpose and the values that drive me toward achieving that purpose. Not only that, I became more aware of the resources available to me to see me (and others) through to living out the most authentic life I (and they) can possibly live.

What could be more rewarding, fulfilling, and empowering than to know what we are uniquely made for, and how we can move toward a more faithful living out of our unique calling as well as bringing a greater authenticity into all of our relationships. This training has left me wonderfully encouraged and deeply engaged to the things that matter most to me, and excited about helping others connect with those things that matter most to them as well.

May we all live faithful to the unique and diverse callings that have been given to each of us for the good of the world.

Review: The Hope Quotient by Ray Johnston

by billy, posted in Review

In early January 2017, Jamie and I had the privilege of visiting Saddleback Church for the first time with our new friend and comrade in the fight to end extreme poverty, Frank Kitonga. While we were attending, Dr. Rick Warren was not giving the message, but another pastor and good friend of his was—Ray Johnston, pastor of Bayside Church and founder of the Thrive Leadership Conference. His message was one of hope, encouragement, and the need to fan the flames of these in our lives. After the message, his book The Hope Quotient was being sold outside the church, and I thought it would be a great gift for Frank as well as an encouraging read for me and Jamie so I bought two copies.

Written in a practical and conversational tone, the book echoed much of the content of Johnston’s message at Saddleback. Each of us needs to do whatever we can to keep hopeful about our lives and futures. The book goes through several very tangible steps each one of us can take to keep our batteries charged, stay encouraged, and play to our strengths.

One of the best reminders for me in his book was the reminder for me to invest in my own growth. I really enjoy investing in the lives of others, but in order to be a better investor, and in order to ensure I have something to give, I need to invest in myself. In 2016, among many investments I made was one to pursue training and certification to become an executive coach. A second key investment was to take a legitimate vacation with Jamie and to take time away from work to celebrate and welcome Sylvia into our lives. All of us need to be mindful of the fact that we can get drained and when we are drained, we can easily become discouraged. When we become discouraged (which we all do), it is easy to be devastated by it. Hope is like fuel for overcoming that discouragement or like an antidote to the toxic and contagious nature of discouragement.

If you want to bring hope into your work, your marriage, and your life, I highly recommend reading The Hope Quotient by Ray Johnston and working to employ the ideas in his book so you are more likely to be sustained, supported, and strengthened with hope instead of being devastated by despair. May we each strive to ignite hope in our lives and the lives of those around us—we all need it, and a little hope can go a long way!

CTI Coach Training: Fundamentals

by billy, posted in Coaching, People, Reflection, Training, Wellness

As mentioned in another recent post, I launched into formal training approximately a three years ago to be a better Leadership/Executive Coach, and it has been quite an eye-opening journey. Thanks to the hospitality of dear friends and proximity of training locations, Jamie and I were able to travel together almost all of the weekends during which I was receiving formal training. Most of my trainings were in Washington DC, and so it was just a short journey to the nation’s capital—but a winter storm caused a last minute cancelation/delay of my first training “Fundamentals” by one week.

Making the trip to DC, I really didn’t know what to expect. Would the people be like me? What would the training be like? Would I think it was a total waste of a weekend? Would it just end up being a networking type event with a bunch of superficial “business-people” from the DC area? Honestly, I was shocked, blessed, and amazed by my experiences and the group of people I walked through that first weekend with. Most of the folks from the group came from the greater DC area, but there was a guy in the group who also made the journey from Pittsburgh to “test the waters” like me. Many people were sent from some pretty well known companies to get some training to bring back into their work, and their companies paid for their training. At the same time, there were some who, like me, were treating the training as a formal investment in their own development, and worked for organizations who just did not have the budget to cover this kind of professional development.

The purpose of the program was to provide an overview and introduction to the Coaches Training Institute’s (CTI) coaching model, and start each of us with some experience coaching. I was very quickly brought to awareness of a deep authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability emanating from each person in the room. In a world filled with posturing, sound bites, and superficiality, our time together was incredibly refreshing. I have rarely witnessed a group of diverse people move toward such incredible openness and championing of one another so quickly.

While the entire weekend was pretty epic, there were three key moments for me that left me with a sense of awe. The first was this. At one point we were each asked to think of a moment when everything was “perfect” in our world, a peak moment, or some crisp memory. My memory immediately went back to mine and Jamie’s wedding day. Everything about it was so rich and so clearly imprinted on my soul. After two minutes of reflection, a volunteer was asked to share. I had been fairly quiet for most of the training up to this point, but I just had to share this beautiful moment with this group of strangers. I was given one minute to share. Then, one of the instructors thanked me, and asked my classmates if they could identify what some of my core values were. This group of people was able to utterly nail many of my core values in a one-minute period. I was in awe of how much of what I really wanted to hold as important was so easy to see. We emanate our values, and to me that was a very beautiful learning.

The second moment was during a period of coaching in which each of us identified a ‘persona’ that would fall outside of our normal personality. Then we were paired up to coach from the perspective those personalities.  My partner and I both knew very little about the people who we were ‘labeled’ with, but both of us chose to trust and go ‘all-in’ to bring out aspects of our personalities that we both admitted to silencing in our past. It was a wonderful moment.

The third moment happened on the last day of our training. We were divided into groups, and we went around in a circle identifying traits that we saw in each other over the course of the weekend. Here again, a group of strangers started identifying things about me that I had not divulged. One woman even commented that she bet I drove a car that ran on veggie-oil. Those who know me know I have been driving a hybrid for about ten years. Unbelievable!

I was richly blessed by this training, and for the understanding that was imparted to me that the things that I held as most important were readily visible to others. I often find myself questioning and second-guessing myself and wondering how faithfully I am living out my values. I sometimes wonder if my values are identifiable by others. There was something really delightful about going deeper with this cadre of amazing individuals, and the time definitely had me hooked!

Review: The Strenuous Life by Theodore Roosevelt

by billy, posted in Review

During spring 2016, I spent several weeks reading through a three-part biography of Teddy Roosevelt, and it led me want to dive into his writings even more. Among the books read was a series of essays and addresses called The Strenuous Life. The book was published before Roosevelt became President, and includes some biographical sketches of hardships he was able to overcome in his youth, and why hard work and effort are important to the development of individuals.

His opening remarks in the opening speech set the tone for the entire book.

“I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life, the life of toil and effort, of labor and strife; to preach that highest form of success which comes, not to the man who desires mere easy peace, but to the man who does not shrink from danger, from hardship, or from bitter toil, and who out of these wins the splendid ultimate triumph.”

Roosevelt’s speeches during this period, and seemingly throughout the rest of his life, centered on the importance of hard work and effort. He reminds us that our best self is not forged in the success of the endeavor, but in the hard work put in to achieve a goal, whether or not the goal is realized. In word and in deed, he exhorts us as a later generation to develop the virtues that lead to good citizenship, good neighborliness, and good character, and then to live them out. In fact, Roosevelt said, “the chief factor in any man’s success or failure must be his own character.”

As the United States approaches nearly a quarter millennium existence as a republic, I find myself stirred, spurred, and encouraged by Roosevelt’s speeches. His words remind me of my own need to put in effort daily in activities that will make me more fit emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you enjoy reading the words of leaders of America’s past, I highly recommend the thoughtful reading of this brief book of TR’s speeches.